Blossoming Romance, Blossoming War
by rockstar-101
Summary: What's that' She asked. 'A wand, my wand.' I told her. 'A wand' She asked, 'Like an abra cadabra wand' Full summary inside. SiriusOC. R&R please.
1. Chapter 1

**Story title: Blossoming Romance, Blossoming War**

**Full Summary: Dumbledore brings a girl over from America because she has some special powers that could be very helpful for their side of the brewing war. She comes to Hogwarts with no knowledge of magic, expect for her own special powers. She becomes attached to the Marauders, since they were the first people she met in her new home and finds one Marauder in particular fascinating. Romance blossoms and so does war.**

**!A little warning, there is some bad language in this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters that you recognize.**

**A/N: This is the third story I'm writing but I might give up on one to write this. I haven't decided if this is going to be completelyAU or not. Also, I think this story has a small taste of Grease in it but I don't mean for it too- I hate that movie, sorry to all you grease lovers- I want it to be more like Hyde and Jackie from That '70's Show. I've never written in first person, tell me how I do. The rating is tenative and will change depending on chapter content.Enjoy and Don't forget to Review.**

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Chapter 1: Nerves and Twitches **

When Dumbledore came to us with this proposition, I was excited, eager for this adrenaline rush of playing a bodyguard to this precious jewel while I played Yoda as well and then I wanted to punch him. How inconsiderate of him! I thought, then, that all he cared about was his stupid Order.

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I had my arm around James's shoulder as we led the crowd away from the grave, the coffin slowly being lowered into the ground. James's body shook as he tried to control his tears but he was failing miserable- one of his weaknesses that was, always trying to be strong as if showing an emotion would show a weakness. I loosened the black tie from around my neck; it isn't easy for me either. I buried two parents with in the last three months just as James has but that was the biggest difference between us; he may try to be strong and hide all emotion, he never can but me I was a stone- only on the outside though, I let my emotions tear apart my insides.

We stopped at the limo, everyone giving us their last condolences as they made their way to their own cars. A slender auburn haired young women with puffy red eyes wearing a conservative black dress, stood before me.

"I'm very sorry for your lost." She told me; I gave her a small nod not wanting to hold her up any longer. I wasn't the person she wanted to talk to. She sniffled before she spoke to him, "Oh James, I don't know what to say. I know nothing will help." Tears began to fall down her cheeks before she launched herself at him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he tightly wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his head in her hair. While they cried in each other's shoulders and forgetting their differences, two more boys stood around us. The squat boy with blonde hair and mousey features stood, uncomfortably, off to the side, his eyes glued to the gravel. But the other one, the one I called a friend more then the other, put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Mr. Pettigrew, Mr. Lupin and Miss Evans could you please excuse us for a moment." Dumbledore said as he and McGonagall approached. Lily reluctantly let go of James, she held her head as Remus and Peter escorted her to her ride.

"James-" Dumbledore rarely called us by our first names, even when reprimanding us, "-did your parents mention anything about the Order of the Phoenix to you?" James and myself stared at him dumbstruck; how could he talk so casually about them to the two people who was affected by their death the most. I wanted to tackle him to the ground and yell at him. They're dead, my parents dead, how dare he speak about them so casually; maybe they weren't my blood parents but I still called him dad and her mum. I shook the thoughts of tackling him when I realized that Dumbledore was talking and James was walking away.

"Please James, I know you're hurting but-"

"I am hurting, painfully hurting." James yelled, "I just buried my mother and I buried my father two and a half months ago but you still ask me some bullshit question. I'm barely fucking seventeen years old and on my own!"

"James, mate calm down. You're going to say something you'll regret." I know they weren't the right words to say but James looked at me and the rage died away- thank god, for a moment I thought he would hit me. Dumbledore smiled at me but it was unrequited.

"Maybe this isn't the best place." I cocked an eyebrow at Dumbledore. _'Gee, you think.' _I thought, "We'll meet you back at the manor." Dumbledore said and he and McGonagall left.

James climbed into the limo, "We didn't say when we'd meet him, why don't we go for drinks?" I suggested as I plopped onto the long bench seat in the limo.

James leaned his head against the headrest, "No, let's just get this over with."

Like he said, Dumbledore was at the manor when we arrived. He sure was determined, '_Really, what could be so important.'_ Dumbledore motioned to a large oak dining table. I slowly took a seat next to James, never taking my eyes off Dumbledore.

"James, your parents never mentioned the Order?" Dumbledore asked again. James shook his head impatiently, "The meetings were held here twice a week."

'_Intriguing.'_ I thought; I leaned forward, resting my arms on the table, "How long?" I had to ask.

"A year." My eyes popped out of my head. _'Damn, they were good.'_

"They, your parents that is, have been working religiously with me to gain followers to help the good fight." Dumbledore started to explain, "Recently, they've been working on something that they really cared about." I looked over at McGonagall, who hadn't said anything, she was wringing her hands in her lap, "There's a young women in America. She's very gifted and completely oblivious to magic like we know it." James started to become more interested, "She's special and your parents took an interest in her."

"Why?" James blurted.

"They believed she could help us all." Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye, "Her Parents put her up for adoption and she's been in and out of foster homes. She resides in Southern California. Your parents wanted to go get her and bring her here." James was shocked. He's an only child, only ever had to share his parents with me; finding out that his parents were even considering adopting another, shocked us both, "But then in the last few months, they knew they couldn't get over there." He paused, "So I went to go get her."

"W-what?" James sputtered,

I lounged back in my chair with my hands behind my head and a smirk playing on my lips, "When do we meet her?" James looked at me shocked; I shrugged.

"It's your mother's last request." James was defeated. He put his face in his hands. I didn't even notice that McGonagall had slipped out of the room, I was enjoying James's squirming. It wasn't until I heard the clicking of heels that I realized McGonagall had disappeared but she was clearly coming back and with someone else. I stared at the doorway waiting for McGonagall to return with this miracle. I could see this girl now; the dark mysterious type that you knew was good in bed with long brown hair and brown eyes, just a dead sexy girl.

Silently as she disappeared, McGonagall reappeared with a suitcase in her hand. She put down the bag just as a girl stopped next to her. I choked on my own air. She, that girl standing next to McGonagall, was the girl that was suppose to help us all. I wanted to laugh out loud, this had to be a joke; I kept looking around to see if someone, the real girl, was hiding in the shadows. But no one else appeared; the nervous little mouse was it; what a killer of dreams.

"My dear come on in." Dumbledore said getting to his feet and looked to me and James, expecting us to do so as well. He's a joker, I stayed seated relaxing into it more while James, the more chivalrous one, got to his feet but I could see in his face he really didn't want to, "Lola-" Even her name was exotic, perfect for the dark mysterious girl I had dreamt up, "I would like to introduce you to James Potter."

"I'm sorry for your lost." She said, extending her hand. James took it but grunted something under his breath.

"And Sirius Black." Dumbledore pointed towards me; I gave her a little wave and a very charming and sexy smile, she blushed immediately. I knew it; she was going to get on my nerves very quickly.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. black may I introduce you to Lola Bailey." Dumbledore said scooting her closer to the table, nope that wasn't going to help, "Have a good night and be careful. I'll see you all at school." With that said, he and McGonagall apparated out. I couldn't help it but "huh" escaped my lips; they can't just leave us like that.

"Dumbledore's right." I said getting to my feet, "Good night." I was at the doorway, almost to the stairs, half a dozen more steps and I could have been free.

"Padfoot." James growled. I flipped off no one before I turned around with a sweet smile on my face, "Where do you think you're going?" James asked, as if he didn't know.

"To bed." I said hopefully but James gave me a look. I sighed; I walked over to Lola, bent down, she jumped away from me- so she's one of those girls, the ones who get jumpy and uncomfortable around guys- and picked up her bags and started back to the stairs.

"That's my stuff." She cried; I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth but James spoke first.

"We'll show you to your room." James said motioning for her to follow me. She kept her distance and I didn't mind. I opened the door, let her in, and gave James an amused look as he followed her in.

"Make yourself at home, there's an en suite bathroom through that door and that over there is a very roomy closet." James said pointing respectively at the doors. I stood by the door watching her take in everything that James was telling her while I took in everything about her. She was very plain; she had typical blonde hair with blue eyes to match, a pink polo shirt with white capris not a wrinkle in either. Her hair was perfect, her skin was perfect, posture was perfect, god everything about her was perfect; it made me nervous and twitchy, I hope James hurries up I need a cigarette. James finished telling her whatever he was saying and turned to leave and I followed suite; immediately pulling out a pack of cigarettes when he closed the door.

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A/N: How was that? This chapter was just to set everything up. On to the next chapter ------> **

**-rockstar-101**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize from the Potter series.**

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Chapter 2: Found **

I stood alone in a beautiful entryway. The floor was tiled in black and white diamond shapes that led to a huge spiral staircase in front of me and to another room off to my right. I gazed into the room but it was too dark to make anything out except for large things like a sofa and what I think is a TV. I bounced on the balls of my feet while I waited for someone to come get me; I strained my ears trying to catch hint of something but I couldn't make out any words. I started to doubt my decision; the front door was right behind me, I could just leave. I wiggled my fingers while I tired to decide on what to do but before I could come to any conclusion the old women who brought me to the house had returned. She smiled at me.

"We're ready for you." She picked up my suitcase and I followed her down the hall, our destination was light at the end of the hall.

We entered a large round dining room with many doors that branched off from it. Paintings lined the wall and a white marble fireplace was built into one wall. A large oak table sat in the middle of the room with three men sitting at it. The old man that had brought me here with the old women stood up to greet me. One of the other boys stood up, too. He was about a shoulder and head taller then me with messy jet-black hair and round glasses; I thought he was very cute but definitely out of my league. I chanced a glance at the boy sitting at the table when the old man introduced him. I found him much more attractive then the first, he had that bad boy image unlike his friend. His raven hair was starting to fall into his steel gray eyes. He looked so nonchalant and I hate to say it, he looked so cool. He waved at me with a charming smile, I felt my face heat up, I had to look away. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see his triumphant look while Dumbledore talked more before he and the old women disappeared.

I didn't know what to do or even what to say. I was in a strange house with two strange boys, one of whom was leaving, and I had know I idea what I should. While I looked around the room trying to come up with an idea, the two boys had a conversation that I completely ignored then the really cute one, what was him name oh right Sirius, walked up to me bent towards which startled me then took my suitcase.

"That's my stuff." I called out in shock. He stiffened but the other one, uh…James, spoke for him.

I followed them up another staircase that wasn't as grand as the one in the entry way but led up to the same place; I'm going to get lost in this house, I just know it. The room that James and Sirius brought me to was just as grand as the rest of the house but I didn't get a chance to take it in because James started explaining stuff to me.

"There's an en suit bathroom and that over there is a very roomy closet. Towels are in the bathroom already but if you need more there's a huge towel closet down the hall. Umm…" He ran his hand through his hair, "Kitchen is downstairs off the dining room, feel free to eat whatever you like and wander wherever you want." He looked up at the roof, still ruffling his hair, "If you need anything, Sirius's room is right next door and mine is two doors down." He said pointing to the right wall. I nodded my understanding and he and Sirius, who was looking very antsy, left.

"What did I tell you about smoking in the house?" I heard James say outside my room.

"She made me nervous." Sirius answered, "Damn I don't have a lighter on me." I heard Sirius say, his voice getting smaller as he walked away.

I made him nervous, but I haven't even talked to him. I must have heard him wrong. I threw my suitcase on the bed and pulled out a tank top and pants to sleep in; it's been a long day.

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I almost forgot where I was when I woke up but I was use to waking up in a strange room. I've done it often in my eighteen years of life. I turned the shower on then walked to my suitcase to get the clothes that I wanted to wear. The shower was hot and the bathroom was steamy when I returned. A half an hour later I was ready to face my new "foster family". As I walked down the stairs, I imagined myself in an elegant ball gown as I walked down the magnificent staircase, my hand resting on the very detailed banister.

"You're walking a little slow." A voice said in my ear and I jumped. Sirius stood behind me with a smirk on his lips.

"Sorry." I stepped aside and he shook his head as he passed me.

"Black, what did I tell you yesterday?" James yelled like a parent, leaning over the banister to yell at Sirius on the floor below.

I didn't realize until then that James and Sirius weren't brothers. Maybe they could pass as brothers, they had some similarities but they had different last names and the physical differences were noticeable.

"Don't pay any attention to him." James said, stopping on the stairs next to me, "We're going to have breakfast, are you hungry?" I nodded and followed him down the stairs. The question I wanted to ask was on the tip of my tongue, just ready to pass my lips; I tried to hold it in but I couldn't control myself.

"You and Sirius aren't brothers." It wasn't actually a question but I bit my lip immediately after I said it.  
"Yes, we are." He said opening the kitchen door.

"But you have different last names and you look similar but not related." I said; I didn't mean to be nosey, I normally wasn't but I was just confused.

"You never had a brother with a different last name?" I didn't know they knew that much about me.

"So your parents adopted him?" I asked. Sirius walked through the French doors that led to the backyard.

"Adopted who?" He asked making a cup of coffee.

"You." James said, it sounded like he wanted to laugh.

"I wish." Sirius said. That just made me more confused; maybe that's what they were trying to do. James chuckled as he handed me a cup of coffee.

"I think of Sirius as a brother. I've know him for the past seven years; he's the closest friend that I have. I love him like a brother and he has lived here like it was his home." James said lightly.

I could feel tears filling in my eyes, I never lived any where long enough to make friends like James and Sirius were. I didn't live any where long enough to bond with the siblings that I had. Now I felt bad for accusing them of taking me for a ride.

"I have to get ready." James said.

"For what?" Sirius asked.

"Lily's, remember. She invited me to go to her house today." James said washing out his coffee mug.

"You're still going?" Sirius nodded in my direction.

"You'll be here." James walked out of the kitchen and Sirius quickly followed.

"You can't leave me here with her." I heard Sirius say as the kitchen door swung.

What did I do to him? I don't think that I have said two words to the guy. Maybe I shouldn't have come here.

I was shocked when James came into the living room where I was watching TV, telling me that he was leaving and would be back later tonight and that Sirius would be here if I needed anything. But I really didn't think he'll be much help for me and it would be a little hard since I don't believe that I could be alone with him in the same room. He grabbed a handful of dust, stepped into the fireplace and disappeared in a whirl of green flames; I gasped.

"Floo powder." Sirius said. I whipped around, I didn't know he was there, "Most magical fireplaces and some muggle ones are connected and we can travel through them." I nodded, at a lost for words. I could feel my cheeks heating up, "I'll be around." He said before disappearing around the corner.

TV got boring, so I turned it off and wandered around the house. There were so many rooms and more then half of them I didn't know if they had a certain purpose. I found myself wandering outside, my eyes darting around. I wasn't looking for him, I swear; what would I say to him if I did find him. I rounded another corner in the yard; I didn't mean to find him.

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A/N: Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. Next one should be up soon. Please Review.**

**rockstar-101**

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own any character from the Potter series.**

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Chapter 3: Rainbows and Ponies**

This babysitting thing is pretty easy, I guess you could say what I was doing wasn't babysitting exactly. The person I was babysitting was eighteen years old and could take care of herself and I wasn't actually watching her, I was avoiding her. I was doing a fine job at that; I haven't seen her since James left.

I leaned against the side of the house, closing my eyes as I exhaled some smoke before taking a long drag. As I exhaled that smoke, I stared at the cigarette in my fingers, I know that they're bad for me but it felt so good, just like most things that weren't good for you. I was contemplating throwing down the cigarette before finishing it properly; the crushing of leaves caught my attention. I jerked my head up to find the one person I was avoiding staring at me like a deer in the headlights. I decided against throwing away the cigarette and brought it up to my lips, never leaving her eyes.

"S-sorry." She stuttered looking down at the ground; why did she have to be so timid, I'm not that scary.

"Don't worry about it." I guess my response shocked her because her head jerked up. She was wearing another perfectly planned outfit, that had no wrinkle what so ever; I had to take another drag from the cigarette and closed my eyes to enjoy it's affects. I opened one eye to look at her; she was staring at me with a look of fascination. I watched her eyes follow the cigarette to my lips for the last drag then her eyes watched my fingers flick it away and her eyes went back to my face, meeting my eyes. Her face turned pink when she realized that I caught her staring. I gave her smirk before I pulled my wand out of my back pocket.

"What's that?" She asked in a squeaky voice; I chuckled but covered it with a cough.

"A wand, my wand." I told her, then pointed it at my throat and muttered a beauty charm to make my breathy minty fresh, girls don't want to be making out with a cigarette and I didn't have any gum on me.

"A wand?" She asked with disbelief, "Like an abra cadabra wand?" I gave her dirty look as I walked passed her.

"No, like a wizard's wand." I said loudly before I walked into the house. She must be a slow learner because I don't think it's hard to grasp the idea of a wand. I heard her run after me, I was going to close the door in her face but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. She followed me through the kitchen, I started to head to the living room but she was still following, so I changed my path. I headed to the stairs and she was still following me; I think she was trying to be sly but I knew she was following. It wasn't until I got to my bedroom door that I turned around. She was stepping off the last stair to the landing when I turned to face her.

"Are you following me?" I asked. She quickly shook her head but she looked very guilty. I cocked a suspicious eyebrow and she was slowly breaking down. She bite her lip, her nod changed directions, "Why are you following me?" She was already making me want another cigarette.

"Well…" She took a long pause, "We're the only people in the house." She said, I guess that was suppose to mean something. I didn't respond but gripped the door knob harder, "I thought maybe we could get to know each other better."

"I don't like to bond." I threw my door open but for some reason I looked back at her. I had hurt her feelings, I could just tell by the look on her face. It was like wounding a puppy which was like wounding myself, "Come on in." I know I didn't look as excited as she did but her excitement faltered.

"In there?" She asked looking in my room; my smirk returned to me.

"Yeah, is there a problem?" I asked; I could see her mind working. She shook her head slowly and walked into my room.

I immediately plopped down on my bed, moaning in the relaxing pleasure. She stood in the middle of my room looking around. The room isn't any different then hers, except for the posters that lined my walls.

"You can sit." I scooted over, showing her that there was plenty of room and her eyes immediately darted away from the bed and looked around for a chair but luckily for me I am a very messy person and every other chair was covered in clothes. I could see in her face that she gave up; she slowly walked over to the bed and sat on the corner with her back against the headboard. I lay on my back for a while before I rolled over on to my side, holding my head up with one hand.

"So what did you want to talk about, girlfriend?" I asked in a girly-gay high pitch voice. She chuckled nervously.

"Well…um… what about this school?" She asked.

"Hogwarts?" She nodded, "It's the best place in the world. My second home. It's huge, you'll get lost for sure." I saw fear flash in her blue eyes, "It's a right of passage." I added, she looked a little less scared, "The place is beautiful in any season, you never want to be inside." Her face was dreamy, she was trying to picture what I was saying, "Hey Bailey, you still with me?"

"Huh…oh yeah."

"Was there anything else?" I was starting to get bored with this bonding crap. She shrugged; she wasn't fooling me, I knew there was something she wanted to ask me.

"What about you?" She said. Here we go, I knew this was going to turn towards me and some shrink mumbo-jumbo. I gave her a shrug as an answer, "Well, do you have a girlfriend?" That's it, that's the question she really wanted to ask and why not I am _the _Sirius Black, every girl wanted to know if I was available but available or not she had no chance, she's not my type.

"I'm in between girls right now." Which was the truth, I had broken up with Bridget or Brittany or Bethany or was it Abigail, it doesn't really matter, when school ended and I haven't gotten around to getting another one. She looked a little confused, "No, I don't have one." I said but don't think she was confused on the answer but what it meant.

"Between?" She asked, I don't think she asked it towards me but was thinking out loud trying to decipher what I said because I don't think her lifestyle is anything like mine. I'll be the first to admit it, I don't date girls for their company, well, you could say I date them for their company, their bed company, "You don't believe in one guy, one girl?" I sighed and rolled over onto my back, there's the rainbow and ponies crap that I expected from her.

"I guess not." I said harshly. She nodded and scooted off the bed. Aww, I guess I offended her; good riddance. My door closed quietly after she slipped out. I waved my wand and music started to fill my room. I didn't do any thing wrong; I shouldn't feel bad. I don't feel bad. She's doing it again, making me feel nervous and guilty. My stomach growled, what better to make me feel like my old self. Three large pizzas should do the trick.

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A/N: Don't forget to Review. Now on to the next chapter ------ >**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Potter series characters.**

**A/N: I love the TV show Charmed and it's influence shows in this chapter. Enjoy and please reveiw when you're done.**

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Chapter 4: The Greatest Years**

Well last night was a shocker. I should have known that he was a "lady's man"; someone who was as good looking as him had shouldn't have to be tied to one girl, he is _only_ seventeen. These are suppose to be the greatest years of our lives, we're suppose to live life in each day and never stop to think. I sighed falling onto my bed. I was doing something wrong because I really haven't found the truth in those words. Why are these the greatest years of out lives? I needed a change and I think I know who I want to change into or at least help me with this change.

I threw my door open, I took a quick step out of my room and stopped abruptly with a scared cry and abark like laugher erupted.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Sirius asked.

"What are you doing outside my room?" I blurted out with out even realizing; he cocked a surprised eyebrow, "I'm not going any where." Oh yeah, I sounded believable. He gave me an unconvinced look and proceeded down the staircase. I followed quietly and sat in an armchair while he lounged on the couch flipping through channels on the TV. James came down a little later in a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and only a pair of pajama bottoms. I had to use every ounce of self-control not to drool and stare; I wish Black walked around like that.

"Look at you lover boy, you look very worn." Sirius said sitting up when James smacked his legs off the couch and took up the seat Black's legs once rested upon, "You got home late last night. What were you so busy doing over at Evans'?" A light blush crept over James's cheeks.

"You know better then that, Padfoot." James said taking the remote from him and quickly changing the channel. Padfoot? That's a weird name.

"Right, Evans is too prude and she still doesn't like you that much." Sirius said not looking at James but kept his gaze on the TV. James lunged at him and the two boys began wrestling on the couch, smacking each other with pillows until they fell off the couch, landing with a thud on the floor.

"Okay, you win, you win. Padfoot, I can't breathe." James was squirming under Sirius trying to get out from under him. Sirius got to his feet and pulled James,

"I'm hungry." Sirius whined.

"Let's wait for Moony." James said. Padfoot? Moony? Really, what odd nicknames.

"Prongs." Sirius whined some more, "Maybe our guest is hungry; it would be rude not to feed her." He looked over at me and the smile that had covered my lips disappeared. He always talked about me as if I'm not here, it was annoying.

"I'm not hungry." I said; James smirked and Sirius glared.

"It's settled, we'll wait for Moony." James said, "And Lily." He added quickly as Sirius made his way to the leave but Sirius stopped and turned slowly around. I watched with curiosity, Sirius didn't find the news about this Lily coming here as good as James did.

"Evans is coming here?" So, Evans and Lily are the same person; I think I've caught up a little, "Why?"

"Come on Padfoot, you don't have to hate her any more." James said.

"The hell I don't." Sirius said loudly; I don't think this is going to be good, "I don't care about the new found friendship that you two have found, she still isn't going out with you and until she does I know you're not any happier and I don't hate her any less." So James likes Lily but Lily must not like him and Sirius hates her for that; look at that I just caught up on six years in one minute. Sirius stormed out. I heard James sigh as I followed Sirius out.

The door from the kitchen to the backyard clicked shut when I stepped into the kitchen. I crossed the kitchen in a few slow strides; I was a little hesitant, I didn't want him to catch me. It wasn't hard for me to figure out where he was, he always went to the side of the house when he wanted to smoke; I'm starting to think that the Potters didn't like him smoking so he had to hide or maybe he wasn't a social smoker. I peeped around the corner of the house, his back was to me and smoke surrounded him. He swept his hair back a few times then he turned around and I retracted. I didn't hear any footsteps so I guess he didn't see me. I dared to look around the corner, his back was to me again, and he was walking along the house and lazily brining the cigarette to his lips. I watched him; diligently making metal notes of his posture, slightly hunched over but not as if he had bad posture, his demeanor, nonchalant and casual that reeked of sex appeal.

"Hey Padfoot." I bumped my head when I retracted my head, "Moony is here." James called from the kitchen door. I heard the crunching of leaves and grass, I pressed against the house trying to melt into the house and praying he wouldn't see me. Sirius took quick strides to the house without a glance back. I waited a few minutes before I pushed myself off the ground, dusting off my butt as I walked towards the doors.

"She's not upstairs." James said as I quietly closed the doors, "Oh, we've been looking for you."

"I was outside." I said as innocently as I could. I tried not to look at Sirius but out of the corner of my eyes, I could see him eyeing me suspiciously.

"I didn't see you." He said accusingly.

"It's a big yard." I said sweetly and stepping towards the kitchen door, glancing back at Sirius, who didn't look convinced, when the door opened knocking me into James who was carrying a stack of bowls and glasses. The stack tumbled from his arms and my instincts kicked in. I threw my hands up without thinking.

"Holy Hell." Sirius said amazed as he walked towards James and the cups and bowls. The new guy, I assumed is Remus, stepped around me.

"How did you?" He asked as Sirius waved his hands around the cups and bowls that were frozen in mid-air.

I was a little dumbfounded by their reactions; I guess seeing it was more drastic then hearing about it but a thought hit me.

"Dumbledore didn't tell you?" I asked.

"No." James said, "You did that with your hands?"

"Yeah." Why didn't he tell them? My powers were the reason I was here; that man did come off nutty but in an eccentric genius way.

"You better grab them; my hold is slipping." I could see dishes crashing to the floor and knew it would happen soon. The boys reached out for the dishes, touching them timidly before grabbing them when they realized it was safe.

"Can you freeze anything?" The new boy asked.

"Yeah. Walk over there." He walked passed me, I threw my hands up but nothing happened. He must be very powerful; it would take more concentration. I threw my hands up again and this tine he froze in mid-step.

"Amazing." James said.

"Bloody brilliant." Sirius said.

"I can do whole rooms." I added, just to impress them more. I threw one hand up to unfreeze the poor boy; he stumbled forward.

"Uh…you froze me, huh?" I nodded shyly.

"Can you do anything else?" Sirius asked like I was some circus side show. I nodded and his eyes light up.

I grabbed one of the bowls that I saved and moved it to the middle of the median and motioned for them to take a step back. I only used one hand; I thought it was more impressive; the bowl blew up.

"You can do that and the freezing thing, whenever you feel?" Sirius was in utter amazement; I blushed, he was amazed with me.

"Not all the time. It gets harder when my emotions aren't' stable." I said, "I'm not sure why though, I guess they're tied together. But it's dangerous; one time when I tried to freeze a falling book and blew it up." The boys gaped at me, "Oh don't worry." They gave me forced smile; oh yeah and those wands in their pockets were any safer.

"Hello?" A sweet voice called from the other room.

"Lily." James said smacking his forehead before rushing out.

Now it felt awkward, at least I did. I quietly excused myself, slipping passed James and the pretty-new girl on my way to my room.

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A/N: Don't forget to review.**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.**

** Chapter 5: Life Isn't A Fairy Tale **

I'm on the verge of barfing. Lily and James are just sickening, more so then before. I found their fighting and bickering amusing but ever since last year when their argument got so heated that she slapped him but a few minutes later a bag of ice appeared outside his door; their fighting wasn't amusing any more. Then everything did a 360 when James's dad died, James changed and so did Lily but most recently with the death of his mum, nothing is the same between them. Luckily for me, Remus is here if not I'd be stuck with Bailey most of the time.

"What's Pete up to?" I asked Remus while piling on some turkey onto my sandwich.

"I think he said something about going with his mum to his grandmother's" I snorted while I rummaged through the frig looking for a tomato when I couldn't find one I conjured one.

"The boy needs a backbone." I said, looking at the accomplishment on my plate.

"Oh yeah, you and James are right there helping him with that." Remus said sarcastically. _What's that suppose to mean?_

"He's practically your guys bitch." Oh, that's what that means; yeah that's true.

I shrugged off his words, "Oh well, more fun for us." I said after a large bite that I chocked on a little.

"What about Lola?" Remus asked. _Who?_

"Oh…she gets on my nerves." I told him, "I think I've gone through twice the normal amount of cigarettes since she has arrived."

Remus cocked an eyebrow and looked completely unconvinced, "She doesn't talk! The most she's said is when we found out about her powers, that was two days ago." He was getting really riled up and loud, "You amaze me sometimes."

"Come on, you can't tell me you don't find her snobby and prude." I lost my appetite and stared down at the beautiful half eaten sandwich, "So what do you say we get pissed drunk, we haven't been out of the house since the funeral."

"Let's go tell the others."

I knew James would go for it but I didn't think Lily would and certainly not Bailey. Bailey was the last one to meet by the front door. She didn't look any more special then she would normally dress, so I have no idea what took her so long.

"Ready?" I asked and James shoved me in the ribs.

"We're taking the limo to the pub." James said opening the door for all of us.

Bailey looked out the window when the car stopped outside the pub. It isn't glamorous but had a girl bouncer that was easily swayed into letting us in.

"It's a muggle pub." I whispered in her ear and watched the Goosebumps rise on her skin.

"A what?" She asked turning towards me. Our faces were very close.

"A muggle pub, not a wizarding one." I could feel her breath against my face. I watched her face turn pink as I continued to stare at her.

"Oh." She said quietly then scooted out after Lily.

"Well look who we got here." Felicia, the door bouncer at the pub said. She was standing outside smoking, "I should have known it was you guys."

"You don't sound happy to see me." I said giving her charming smile. She was cute so it wasn't hard to flirt. I kissed her cheek and took a drag off her cigarette, "Mind if we come in?"

"Do I ever tell you no?" She said seductively.

"No one ever tells me no, babe." I said getting real close before walking into the pub.

The others followed me into the pub and found an empty table for all of us.

"Why don't you go get drinks Padfoot?" James suggested. _Lazy ass._ "Lola why don't you go with him?" She didn't seem too happy with that plan but being politer then me, she slid out from her seat.

"I can do it." I said hard-headedly. She roller her eyes and walked passed me towards the bar. I wanted a drink and had to follow.

"Four beers." I ordered for the others and myself, "What do you want?"

"Uh…I'll have what he's having." She said pointing to me.

"And add a shot for myself." I added. The bartender took out two shot glasses and overfilled them before he left to gather our beers. I slide one towards Bailey and picked mine up.

"What's this?" She asked holding up the shot.

"A shot." I told her then downed mine with a smack of my lips, "You ordered what I ordered; I gather you've never been in a bar."

"I'm not old enough in America."

"And we're not in muggle London, honey." I said, "You better drink that or they'll get suspicious." The bartender had gotten busy and still hadn't brought our beers. I watched her hesitantly lift the glass to her lips and gulp down the contents. She gasped and coughed at the burning sensation in her throat; I had to laugh.

"Did you like it?" I added to her embarrassment; she gave me a dirty look.

"So what's the deal with you and that girl at the door?" She asked trying to be nonchalant.

"Just a hook up, she never has been more." She looked disgusted; she asked; I'm not sorry that it's not the fairy tale answer that she wanted; life isn't a fairy tale. I slammed my hand loudly on the bar counter, yelling, "Beers. Remember we ordered some beers, actually five." The bartender gave me a dirty look.

"Oh yeah, I'm the one who is going to get us kicked out of here." She hissed under her breath. The bartender dropped the five beers in front of us and I dropped his money. I grabbed three beers and Bailey grabbed the other two. I dropped the three beers in front of Lily, James and Remus and took one from Bailey.

She was getting on my nerves as she _babied _her beer, sipping it carefully and taking long breaks between her sips. I chugged the rest of my beer and left the others for another one. I couldn't go back to the table and watch her drink her beer with the utter most femininity. I finished my second beer in record time and ordered three shots at once, not pausing in between each shot. I was ordering my second round of three shots when someone wrapped their arms around my waist from behind and slowly gliding their hands down my thighs. I turned around to find Felicia pressing her body against mine. I moved her around me, wrapping one arm around her waist. I took one of the three shots handed it to her and then gulped down the other two. She took my hand and led me to the offices in the back. We moved fast, like we always did in my drunken stupor. Before long the desk was cleared and Felicia lay naked on her back while I ravished her body. After we were done we went our separate ways with a quick, "Until next time," from each of us.

I saw Bailey sitting at the bar and at first I thought she was alone but when the guy next to handed her a beer, I clearly realized that I was wrong. I stopped to watch her and the guy; he leaned in close to tell her something, it isn't very loud in here and there was no need for him to be that close to tell her something, she didn't seem to mind too much but I could see the discomfort in her face as she answered him but not leaning in like he did. She sipped on her beer while he said something else then I watched his hand firmly land on her knee, massaging it for a moment before sliding discreetly north. It didn't matter how crowded the pub was, I was across it in a matter of seconds; I have no idea what made me move so fast but I've never moved faster. I grabbed the guy by the front of his shirt, yanking him off his bar stool and landed a hard right hook. I let go of the guy and he stumbled towards the floor but didn't fall, he clearly wasn't as drunk as I first thought but I'm clearly more drunk then I thought. The guy threw a punch but didn't land it; pathetic. I threw another and landed it. The guy's nose was bloody but he didn't stop he threw another punch and hit me my cheek. The next few minutes are a black hole but the next thing I knew James was pulling me away from my fight and the whole room wasn't moving. Lily was holding the door open while James and Remus led me out and Bailey took up the rear. The guys threw me into the limo while everyone climbed in behind.

"What the hell were you thinking?" James yelled, which didn't help with my developing headache and splintering pain in my cheek.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" That was Lola, I didn't even need to open my eyes, "I am very capable of taking care of myself, obviously because I had to take care of you." She yelled. I moaned in pain as my response then felt a sore pain in my arm; she hit me like I needed any more bruises.

"We're suppose to watch over you." I said in my defense.

"When I need help, not when you're drunk and jealous." She yelled. She must have had too much to drink to think that I'm jealous.

"I wasn't jealous." I knew but she needed to know it. She snorted, she had audacity to snort. The rest of the ride home was silent and I was stuck in my thoughts of the hang over I'm guaranteed tomorrow and the ugly bruise I'm surly going to receive on my cheek.

**A/N: Did you like it? Well, tell me after you read the next chapter ------- **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Potter series characters.**

**A/N: I forgot to mention in the last chapter that I have written the ending to this story, so I know where it's going I just have to get it there. Review at the end.**

**!Language Warning: There is some bad language in this chapter!**

**Chapter 6: An Overwhelming New World **

I stormed upstairs and threw myself on my bed. He ruined a good night, the first night like it in my life. I never drank before, I really didn't care for it that much but I was still having fun until Black decided to interrupt it. I guess I shouldn't be that mad at him, the guy was starting to make me feel uncomfortable but he didn't have to get into a fight. I sat up suddenly, staring at my reflection in the mirror across from my bed; had Sirius seen the move the guy made on me? He must of or he wouldn't have punched the guy. I couldn't suppress the smile that was creeping on my lips; he had gotten jealousas much as he won't admit it, he did.

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"I thought you had that under control." I heard James say just before I pushed through the kitchen door the next morning, "I thought you had your drinking under control." James looked up from Sirius, who was rubbing his temples, to me then brushed passed me out of the kitchen.

I couldn't look Sirius in the eye; I felt that I heard more then I was should have, something too personal for my ears. But I did see the large purple bruise on his cheek; I wonder what the other guy looks like. I stirred in the sugar in my coffee, staring deeply into my cup of coffee. I sipped it, looking straight ahead while I drank and stared into my coffee between sips.

"You can stop pretending." Sirius said, slamming his hands onto the counter when he leaned forward. It scared me; right then he scared me, "I know you heard."

"It's none of my business." I said softly.

"Give up on the perfect angel bullshit." He said loudly; I took a sharp in take of air, "It isn't the first time." He said his voice was soft and calm; which scared me more then when he was loud, at least then I knew what he really meant, when he was like this I didn't know what to expect, "I want to get over but if I find something that I don't like when I'm drunk an ignorant response like fighting is my first reaction. But I like to drink and I don't see myself as alcoholic; so don't judge me." I didn't know what to say or do but I knew that for the first time since I've arrived, Sirius viewed me as an equal.

"It's none of my business but I wont judge you, even though I find that a little hypocritical of you." He didn't like that answer but I didn't care, "Thank you, for last night, even though that's not exactly how I would have wanted you to help." He shrugged and grunted something but I didn't ask him to repeat it. I left him to his hang over and his coffee.

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Music pulsated from the other side of the door, I vaguely recognized it as Black Sabbath- a band that I had heard on the radio one time. Why did James send me up here to get him? I wanted someone to explain to me what Diagon Alley was but I had to play messenger. I knocked on his door but of course he didn't answer. I knocked again, not expecting him to answer but just to be courteous. I pushed opened the door, peering around it first when I saw him laying on his bed, banging his hands to the rhythm of the music, I walked right in.

"Black." No response, "Black." I said louder but not loud enough to be heard over the music. I walked up to his bed and shoved him. He looked surprised while I gave him an impatient look. He waved his wand and the music ended, "James wants to go to…uh…Diagon Alley and wants to know if you're coming."

"Sure, I need to get my school stuff."

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The limo stopped outside an old pub, the wooden sign hanging over the door read The Leaky Cauldron. I felt dirty once I stepped out of the limo; it didn't seem like the best part of town and definitely not a part of town that I would come to. James held the door open for Lily then followed her in and Sirius held door open for the rest of us. The pub was filled with people of all kinds, most of them very ugly. Sirius grabbed my upper arm and led me across the pub to the door that everyone else had walked through. James took out his wand and tapped the right brick that was three up and two across from the brick in the middle that had a broom carved in it. The brick wall fold back and the wall disappeared revealing a road lined with small shops and large white building in the middle. The others laughed at my loud gasp and wide-eyed expression.

"I have to go to Gringotts, first." James said. A ringing of "Me too" echoed.

I starred in the windows of the shops that we passed: one had slimly things in jars, another had one had brooms in the window, another had owls, another had books while the last one we passed before we walked into the white building had robes of all colors and designs. The glorious white marble room with gold counters overwhelmed me. Little…little goblin like men bustled around the room and worked behind the counters. I stood rooted in spot watching the bustling goblin like men hurry passed us without an acknowledgement.

"They're goblins." Sirius whispered in my ear as he walked me to the counter where James was talking to one of the goblins.

"Shut up." I said loudly which earned me a dirty look from the goblin behind the counter, "They're real." I said and Sirius shushed me. Sirius stepped forward after James and placed a bronze key on the counter; Lily and Remus did the same thing. The Goblin stared at me with a scrutinizing look.

"Next." He grumbled.

"I…uh…"

"She's with me." James said pulling me away from the counter, "I'm picking up the check for all of your things." He told me as we followed a goblin to a large wrought iron gate.

"But you don't have to." I said pulling my arm free.

"It's what my parents would have wanted." James said as we walked through the gate into a dark cave like room with tracks and a line of carts, "Plus, what money do you have to pay for you things?" He added with a small smile.

"Me and Remus will take a different cart since our vaults are near each other." Lily said before kissing James and getting in the cart after Remus.

Sirius, James and myself climbed into our own cart. The cart zoomed off, like a rollar coaster. It zigged, it zagged, it took turns on only two wheels. It seemed to get darker and scarier the longer we rode. I tried to look around and down the dark tunnels but it was going too fast and it was too dark. We stopped in front of an old vault with a P carved in the door.

"This is one of the original vaults." James said as he helped me out of the cart, "It's been in my family for ages." He stuck his key in the vault door, turning it and the door swung open with an audible swoosh. The vault glowed yellow from the gold that filled the inside.

"Holy hell." I said, "You're richer then god." James laughed while he filled his pocket with the gold. Sirius was lounging in the cart, his whistling echoed in the tunnels. James and I got back in the cart and it took off again. Sirius's vault wasn't as filled as James's was but it still had plenty of gold and silver.

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Lily and Remus was waiting for us on the street level of the white marble building, their pockets bulging from their money.

"Where to first?" James asked while we stood in the middle of the street.

"I need new robes." Sirius said, "Mine are too short."

"That's good. You need robes too." James said to me, "Dumbledore sent me a list of what you're going to need this year. Since you don't have any magic in you beside your powers, he said you don't need a wand and the books for the classes that use wands like charms."

I got black robes with the Hogwarts crest on them then we went to the shop with the jars of slimy things in the windows turns out it was the Apothecary shop, stuff for potions. Potions is one of the few classes I get to take. Lily loved the bookshop, disappearing the moment we walked in and not reappearing until we were checking out, she had and armful of books; the guys didn't even have as many books as she did.

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Two days later, we were rushing through King's Cross station, all the while James was swearing at Sirius and him over sleeping. We stopped at the pillar between platforms nine and ten, which I thought was odd since we didn't seem to have much time for stops and distractions. Lily and James leaned against the pillar and were swallowed by the bricks. My eyes popped out of my head just like when I watched the barrier open for Diagon Alley. Remus went next then Sirius led me to the pillar and pulled me through with him. I felt slightly dizzy when we materialized on the other side of the platform. The platform was filled with other students standing against the backdrop of a shiny red train with gold letters reading The Hogwarts Express.

**A/N: The song Be Free by Papa Roach on the Getting Away with Murder cd inspired my chacterization of Sirius for this story and it's very evident in this chapter; I don't know if any of you guys know the song but it's great, if you can listen to it. Sorry for any confusion to you guys who got an email about the story being updated last night; I got a new mac laptop and with the internet it comes with I don't have the features such as page breaks in the document manager. Now on to the important part, Reviewing! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: You know what goes here.**

**A/N: Yes, I am back and ready to start writing again. If you didn't see on my profile, I've been moving into college and not that I'm all alone, I have a lot of extra time to write and will start doing all that writing today. I hope my readers will return and I will start work on my other stories! Please review and much thanks again to my reviewers, you all ROCK!**

**Chapter 7: Castle in the Sky**

I could see the castle as we pulled into the station; it stood domineering over the land around it, candles in the turrets flicked and I could have sworn that ghostly figures appeared in some of the windows. Rows of dark carriages waited in a line with nothing to pull them but I followed the others to the closest empty carriage and climbed in. Just after I settled in between Remus and James, the carriage lurched forward. I stared out the window the whole carriage ride and completely ignored the conversation between the others. The carriages stopped just a few yards from the front doors of Hogwarts; I felt butterflies in my stomach as I climbed out of the carriage. I stood rooted in spot as the carriage pulled away and my complete view of Hogwarts was un-obscured. I stared up at the castle feeling like the castle stretched all the way to the sky. I felt someone bump me and looked up at Sirius staring down at me with an impatient look. He nodded towards the castle and I entered the throng of people trying to get in the castle; it was only Sirius and I as we forced our way through the crowd, we must have lost the others when I was memorized with the sight of the castle.

The Entrance Hall was huge, I felt like a tiny speck. There were suits of armor lining the entrance hall, along with tall candles lighting the hall in a glowing yellow light. The horde of students thinned in the Entrance Hall as the students made their way into the Great Hall and to their own tables. Sirius and I were just about to cross the threshold to the Great Hall when Dumbledore appeared in the doorway, with his trademark smile and glint in his sky blue eyes.

"It's good to see you again, Miss Bailey." He said, "I see that I made a good choice in entrusting your wellness in Mr. Black and Mr. Potter's hands." He said with a glance to Sirius, who didn't look interested, "If you will Miss Bailey, will you come to my office for your sorting; I believe you are a little too old to be sorted with the first years." I nodded and started to follow him away from the Great Hall, "Mr. Black aren't you coming?" Sirius was making his way into the Great Hall when Dumbledore stopped him; he spun around slowly, he didn't look like he wanted to come but I think he couldn't tell Dumbledore no. Dumbledore walked quickly through the halls, too quickly I couldn't take in the turns and stairs quick enough to even begin to find my way back; for once I was glad Sirius was around.

His office was just as impressing as the rest of the school; different apparatuses whizzed and hummed in the glass cabinet, a magnificent red bird sat on perch near the desk and on the desk was a old tattered hat that definitely didn't fit it in with the rest of the stuff in the room. Dumbledore picked up the hat and handed it to me. I stared at the hat in my hands then looked for Dumbledore for instruction.

"Go on my dear, put it on." He said. I slowly placed the hat on my head.

"Dumbledore has been going on about it you, it's about time that you have arrived." I jumped at the voice in my ear, Dumbledore and Sirius looked like they couldn't hear it, "That's right they can't." The hat answered, "Well, you are obviously smart but not a Ravenclaw nor are you dark enough to be a Slytherin." He kept talking but I have no idea what he was talking about, "You could probably fit in as a Hufflepuff but I don't believe your gifts and mind will expand there. Gryffindor is definitely the best; the courage that you will need, is deep with in you but it's up to you. First let me state, life will be treacherous and dangerous; you will have to learn to open up and let go of your inhibitions. You are in danger and have been since you opened your mind to this new world but you can change that with your decision, so decide wisely and quickly." I had to choose but he rambled so much, that I've already forgotten most of it. My mind was also stuck on the thought of the dangerous life that he prophesized. Well, he said that Gryffindor was the best, what better choice then?

"If that's what you want?" I nodded then he shouted, "Gryffindor."

"Wonderful." Dumbledore said taking the hat off my head, "You two better get back to the Great hall, I suppose the first years have just finished their crossing." Sirius nodded and I followed him out the room.

I didn't pay any attention where he was leading me. Dangerous? What have I gotten myself into? I didn't think about he consequences when Dumbledore came to me, telling me he knew of the special powers that I had and that he could take me to a new world that would accept me for who I am and that I wouldn't have to hide myself any longer. The idea sounded wonderful, I was turning eighteen and foster homes were coming hard to come by and soon would be nonexistent for me. Dumbledore offered me a home and security; I packed my bags right then and there. But now I'm finally getting to read the fine print, my life was in danger and the only control I had over my survival was letting go of inhibitions!

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked bumping me out of my thoughts, "You've looked a little scared since the hat was taken off your head." We were in the Entrance Hall again, Sirius pushed opened the doors to the Great Hall. I could tell he loved the way everyone turned to look; he loved the attention.

"Yeah, I'm fine." The others had saved seats for us in the middle of the Gryffindor table.

It wasn't long after we were seated that the first years and a very stern middle aged women leading the pack entered. They all looked scared and I knew how they felt.

"Who is that?" I asked Lily quietly.

"Professor Minerva McGonagall. She teaches Transfiguration and is the deputy headmistress." She explained thoroughly.

McGonagall started to read her list of names and one by one the first years made their way to the front of the pack and to the hat. I found it interesting for the first few students but it easily become boring and redundant and by the looks of the guys they felt the same. Sirius looked like he was about to fall asleep, James was staring into space, Remus was trying to converse with some girl at table across from him and the new guy, Peter, looked like he was dying from hunger by the way he was staring at him empty plate. I heard the last name called and my attention was grabbed again. I watched McGonagall wave her wand, the hat and the stool disappeared then Dumbledore got to his feet; I groaned.

"Welcome back students and welcome new students. I would like to remind the older students and inform the new students that the forbidden forest is just that forbidden and Mr. Filch would like me to tell you that a new list of items prohibited in hallways is posted on his office door. Also I would like to introduce this year's head boy and girl, Lily Evans and James Potter." Cheers erupted from most of the hall and boos from one side, "Now, tuck in." He sat down and food appeared on the table.

I ate so much food that it was a struggle to walk to the tower. The Gryffindor common room was decorated in shades of ruby and gold with plenty of plush chairs, tables and a large fireplace. James and Sirius collapsed on the couch in front of the fireplace, Lily snuggled up next to James, Remus took refuge on one of the armchairs and I took the other and Peter sat on the floor resting against the coffee table.

"Lola, so how do you like it?" James asked me.

"It's great. Sirius told me I would get lost and now I'm pretty sure I will." I told him.

"Naw, you have all your classes with us and nobody knows this school better then us." Remus said and the four boys shared a knowing look.

"But this place is beautiful." I yawned loudly.

"Oh, thank god." Lily yawned, "I was hoping you wouldn't want to stay up long. I wanted to show you our dorm room." She gave James a quick kiss before pulling me up from my chair and guiding me to our room.

I couldn't sleep; it wasn't the bed that was for sure, I've never slept in a softer and more comfortable bed. My mind wouldn't rest; I kept hearing the hat's words. I slid out of bed, cringing as my feet touched the cold stone floor; I tip toed across the room. I stood on the last step looking out at the common room; I wasn't surprised that the common room was empty. I was just about to step off the step when the portrait hole opened and Sirius came gallivanting in; he had and extra bounce in his step. His chest was bare, his shirt was slung over his shoulder and his belt hung loosely around his waist. I know I must have looked like a little kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. His steps slowed but the large smile on his face didn't disappear.

"Well, someone is up past her bed time." He said in a condescending voice.

"Look who's talking." I retorted, and then mentally slapped myself, "You couldn't sleep, either?" I added quickly changing the subject.

"I wasn't trying." He stood across the room from me. I didn't understand what he meant, "A midnight romp." He said wiggling his eyebrows. He laughed at my disgusted face.

"You're a pig." I said.

"Don't get all upset, when you know you wish you were her." He said with a smug smile.

"You're a cocky little jerk." I said and started to turn back towards the stairs.

"Come here." He said, I turned around and he was pointing to the ground in front of him, "Come here."

"No." I said, backing up until my heels were pressed against the stair above me.

"You want to." He said suavely and taking a few steps closer to the stairs. I was shaking my head, "Come here." He sang.

"Get bent, Black." I said.

"I was earlier." He said smugly but still walking closer to the stairs. His shirt had dropped to his side, dragging slightly on the floor. I smirked as my eyes lingered back to his from the shirt; his smirk matched mine. I threw up one hand and blew a hole in shirt. He dropped it and stepped out the little flames that remained.

"What the hell?" He said as he stomped on his white shirt.

"I said no." I added before bounding up the girl's stairs.

For someone as handsome as he is, he could really be an asshole. I flopped back in bed, still not tired; I stared up at the red curtain above me. What inhibitions did I hold on to? I chewed on my lower lip while I keep staring at the red sky above me and began to wonder what would have happened if I had done what he asked. I rolled to my side, curling into the fetal position, shaking my 'what if' thoughts out of my mind and going thinking back to what the hat had told me earlier. What did he know anyways? He's just a hat; I huffed before I rolled over once more and forced myself to sleep.

**A/N: I hope I still have readers to review. I'm sorry again for the long update; I'll update Sirius's chapter very soon! But in the mean time please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.**

**A/N: This chapter is a little bit of a filler but please review.**

**Chapter 8: Right Old Disappearing Act**

Back to the old routine. I couldn't stop the sigh that escaped my lips as I leaned back my chair in Transfiguration; McGonagall gave me an annoyed glance but didn't say anything. I dropped the chair to all fours, watching Remus scribble notes down as McGonagall dictated away about whatever her lesson was; I had stopped paying attention the moment I sat down. It just takes me few days to get back to the old routine. I glanced to my left; James was crouched over Lily's parchment reading her minuscule writing before scribbling the note he missed. The only one conspicuously absent was her, I felt the smirk spread across my lips; for some odd reason I love being able to do something she couldn't while she was stuck in the common, left with only her lonely mind. I picked up my quill and started to doodle my name, a large dog and other random things; Remus glanced over at me with a surprised look when I picked up my quill, I pushed my parchment towards him, he nodded and went back to paying attention. I completely covered every square inch of my parchment with some sort of doodle by the time the bell rang and McGonagall quit rambling.

"Padfoot, I need you to do me a favor." James said when we stepped into the wave of students in the hall.

"What?" I asked dryly.

"Can you go get Lola to take her to Care of Magical Creatures with you?" He said, so calmly and naturally; I stopped in my tracks.

"Why do I have to?" I whined, I know I sounded like a little kid but it wasn't fair and why do I have to?

"Because you said it yourself, you wanted to cruise the best you can through your last year and well one of the class you took to cruise is Care, so you're the only one who is going down there." James explained thoroughly, stopping a few steps in front of me as he explained.

"I hate playing babysitter, let alone to her." I said, shifting my book bag to the other shoulder.

"Too bad." James shrugged, "Do it or Dumbledore will have you head." He sang as he Lily and Remus walked away towards Ancient Runes.

I glared at the back of his fleeting head before turning to the opposite direction towards the common room to go get **_her_**.

I had expected her to be sitting in the common room, her bag in her lap and her hands crossed over that wearing one of her perfectly planned outfits and not a hair out of place. The common room was empty. I gave a long sigh; this shouldn't be that difficult. I walked to the bottom of the girl's stairs and called her name. No answer. I called again, this time louder. No answer. This time I bellowed her name. No answer. I shook my head and hurried up the boy's stairs two at a time. The moment I blew into the room, I light up a cigarette and started to search for the map. I pulled the map out from the bottom of James's trunk and tapped it with my wand. She was two floors below; why the hell was she two floors below? I finished the cigarette, casting an air-freshening charm as I walked out of the room. I took two shorts cuts, jumping out just in time to scare the living day lights out of her.

"What are you doing?" I asked while she clutched her heart.

"Why are you jumping out of tapestries?" She retorted.

"We were suppose to be in Care of Magical Creatures five minutes ago and we would have been if you were sitting in the common room like you were suppose to." I said harshly.

"I wanted to look around." She said timidly. I rolled my eyes and started off down the corridor. I listened for her footsteps but never heard them; I looked over my shoulder and she was still standing there.

"Are you coming?" I asked, she nodded quickly and hurried to catch up.

She didn't walk in step with me but was just a few steps behind me. I glanced over my shoulder; she wasn't looking around but kept her eyes rooted to her feet and her hands holding tightly the strap of her book bag slung over her shoulder. I watched her shrug her shoulders pushing the strap back on her shoulder before I turned back to watch where I was going and slowed my steps until I was walking in step with her. Without looking over at her or asking her, I reached across her and took her heavy bag from her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her look up at me but I didn't acknowledging her. We continued in silence, until we found our class on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest near Hagrid's house.

After a not so enthralling class about Mokes, she followed me to the Potions dungeon. James, Lily and Remus were standing with the other students outside the classroom when we arrived. I handed her back her bag and turned to James. He had this smug look on his face that made me want to slap him across his face.

"What are you on about?" I asked dropping my bag on his foot.

He quickly recoiled his foot from under my bag, "So, how did everything go?" He asked.

"I got her there and here." I told him. He shrugged with his smug look still plastered on his face and followed the rest of the class into the room.

Once I entered the room, I immediately turned to my left to my usual seat but stopped short. I sat in the same seat every class for the past six years; everyone in class does. I stared down at the head of perfect blonde hair that was atop the body that currently sat in my seat. She didn't even seem to realize I was there until I cleared my throat. She looked up at me curiously; I guess my look of annoyance and anger wasn't clear enough for her.

"That's my seat."

"Oh, I asked that guy over there and he said there weren't assigned seats." She said pointing to some guy sitting somewhere behind me but I didn't turn to look at him.

"That's my seat." I repeated.

"But I thought…"

"My seat." I said almost sounding like a cave man while I pointed at her.

"Good day class." Slughorn sang and he glided into the room, pausing at me, "Mr. Black, good to see you my boy." He said leading me to the front of the class with him while he kept talking to me about the progress of the Slug Club, stopping at the last empty seat in the front of the class. He clasped my shoulder before stepping around the desk to address the class. I glared back at her; she wasn't even looking at me, before I took my seat. I angrily scribbled down the notes to the Blood Replenishing Potion that we would be brewing in two days then aimlessly listened to Slughorn ramble on about the potion and his understanding about how he understands that not all of our potions will be as perfect as Lily's.

James, Remus, Lily and her were gathered together outside the classroom, waiting for we after class; sitting closer to the front made it take a little longer to get out of class.

"Can you take me back to the common room? I don't know how to get there from here." She asked me when I approached.

"I'm not going back to the common." I said, "I'm going to have a smoke then getting some lunch." I told her in a condescending voice.

"Well, they're going to the library." She said pointing behind her. I looked up, realizing that James, Remus and Lily were almost out of sight, "So then I have no one to show me the way." She continued. James and them were gone now, a right old disappearing act that was.

I opened my mouth to say something but no words came out; I threw my hands up in exasperation, "I guess." Maybe I'll just skip out on lunch and double up on cigarettes before my next classes.

**A/N: Don't forget to Review and I'll just try to get the next two chapters up soon.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

**A/n: I'm looking for ideas for the next few chapters, I'm at a road block with this story but I really want to continue with it because I like the ending chapter I've written. Also, don't forget to review after you read chapter 10.**

**Thanks to the reviewers of my last chapter and sorry for the long wait: RockStar Lover, Sweettarts, Serenity 87, SiriuslyFanatical and Nicoley117 **

**Chapter 9: One step forward and one step backwards**

The common room seemed a lot more interesting last night but now, it's just another room. I stared up at the high ceilings while lying on my back on one of the many red couches in the room. The tower was dead silent, which I suppose is unusual since Lily was just telling me that it's damn near impossible to study in here. I sat up with a huff, looking around the room for something to do. This utterly sucks; I wish I could do magic like everyone else, even if the class was boring at least I wouldn't be bored alone; Lily suspected my magical ability hovered somewhere between a muggle and a squib, whatever the hell that meant. I found myself staring at the portrait of the man that filled a complete wall in the common room. His clothes dated to about the medieval period, he had a ruby encrusted sword in one hand and a wand held loosely in the other. The gold crown that flattened his light brown hair was encrusted with rubies like his sword and his clothes were the same color. I stared into his light blue eyes; I could almost see the life in them.

"Boo." I jumped a mile high when he said it.

"You can…you can…" I stared at him with my mouth gaping.

"Out with it girl."

"You can talk."

"Of course." He said as if I insulted him; well I'm sorry, normally I don't hold conversations with portraits, "Name's Godric Gryffindor."

"Like the house?" I asked.

"Yes of course. Are you new around here?" He asked a little perplexed. I nodded, "That explains it."

"Do all the portraits here talk?"

"Yes." He said. I looked around the room but there were no other portraits here.

"Thanks." I said, running back to the couch to grab my bag before hurrying out of the tower.

"Slow down." Someone cried but there was no one behind me. I looked up at the large portrait of an equally large woman.

"I will." I cried as I continued to hurry off in search of more talking stuff and unusual anomalies.

Two floors below, I had encountered changing staircases, a billion talking portraits of all sorts from every time period possible and suits of armors that seemed hallow but had eyes. This place was really tripping me out. Around every corner seemed to have something new. I just rounded a new corner when some jumped out from a tapestry, scaring me half do death. I clutched my racing heart as he started to talk.

"What are you doing?" His voice was almost a growl and his face was pure frustration.

"Why are jumping out of tapestries?" I cracked, ignoring his frustration.

"We were suppose to be in Care of Magical Creatures five minutes ago and we would have been if you were in the common room like you were suppose to." He snapped.

"I wanted to look around." I said quietly, quickly losing my bravery with his harsh tone. He rolled his eyes and started off down the corridor. I stood rooted in spot, a little afraid to move; I'm not sure if I was suppose to follow him, by the tone of his voice I _knew_ he didn't want me to follow him.

"Are you coming?" He asked after he stopped a few feet ahead of me. I nodded and jogged a couple of steps to catch up with him. I stayed a few steps behind him, which he obviously didn't object to. I shifted my heavy book bag on my shoulder, hoping we would get to class soon. I didn't realize he was slowing down until; he reached across me to take my bag from me. I looked at him surprised but he didn't acknowledge me as he put my bag on his shoulder.

I love the grounds of Hogwarts. The outdoors always thrilled me, and the school has so much of it. The blue sky was spotted with cotton ball like clouds and light breeze blew. Sirius led me to the edge of the forest, near a small shack where the rest of the class was already gathered. Black dropped our bags before we blended with the rest of the class. The professor was a very odd looking man; he the looked like the sort of a person from an insane asylum. His thin gray hair stuck up in every which way and his eyes seemed to bug out of his head as he talked. He had a wiry build and spoke with a squeaky but very enthusiastic voice. He was pulling the lid off a crate as we approached.

"They are designated as a class three, no real threat to anyone." He said as he opened the crate, "None at all." He added whimsically.

"Don't always believe him until you find out what you're actually dealing with." Sirius whispered to me.

It was a lizard. He pulled out a lizard from the crate; I know my jaw dropped to the floor when I saw him holding the simple looking lizard. I had lizards at home. I watched him poke the small lizard, the lizard's yellow eyes bugged in fear before shrinking to a miniscule size. I gasped; I was the only one I might add. We spent the class, observing the shrinking process of the mokes and frantically searching after them after we did get them to shrink then was assigned an essay on mokes at the end.

He picked up my bag before I got a chance to grab it. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes on our stroll back to the castle; I must have given him a dirty look because he asked me if I minded.

"Yeah." I said rudely. I saw his mouth twitch a little as he gave me a hard stare but he shoved them back in his pocket, adding a small growl from deep in his throat as he did.

He handed me back my bag as we arrived outside the Potions classroom. James had smug look on his face as we approached; Sirius inquired to it but I didn't hang around long enough to hear James's answer, I continued to inside the room.

Everyone seemed to migrate to certain seats.

"Ummm…is there assigned seating?" I asked the next boy to pass me. He wasn't much taller them me, with very greasy hair and a long nose. He eyed me up and down, making me shift uncomfortable which seemed to bring him pleasure.

"No." He grunted and continued to a seat.

I took the seat in the back that was closest to me. I rummaged through my bag, taking out all my stuff for notes and my potions book then stared around the room, taking every thing in about it. I started to a get a prickly sensation like someone was behind me before someone loudly cleared his throat behind me. I looked at him curiously, waiting for him to say something.

"That's my seat." He told me.

"Oh, that guy over there told me there wasn't assigned seating." I said pointing to the boy sitting somewhere behind him but he didn't bother to look over his shoulder.

"That's my seat." He repeated. I didn't know why he was throwing such a hissy fit over a stupid seat. There were plenty of others closer to the front but he was so concerned over this one that I wasn't sure if he even noticed those.

"But I thought…" I didn't get to finish my sentence.

"My seat." He growled sounding like a primitive cave man. I was about to tell him to shove off and stop acting like a little baby when the professor came sweeping in and leading him to the front of the class; I watched with a self-satisfied smile.

"Do you think you can get back to the tower by yourself?" James asked. I shook my head, I didn't even know how to get out the dungeons, "You're going to have to get Sirius to take you back then."

I nodded, "Okay, I'll see you guys at dinner." I said as they started out of the dungeons while I waited for Sirius to get out of the classroom.

"Can you take me back to the common room?" I asked him as he stepped out of the classroom.

"I'm not going back to the common room." He said walking towards the dungeon exit, "I'm going to have smoke and then going to get some lunch." I picked up on the annoyed tone in his voice.

"Well, they're going to the library." He looked over my shoulder just in time to see James, Lily and Remus disappear around the corner, "So I have no one to show me."

He opened his mouth to say something but chocked back his words, he threw up his hands in defeat, "I guess." He said through gritted teeth. He seemed tense as he walked me back to the common room and he stared out the window longingly and played with what I assumed were his pack of smokes in his pocket; I guess he really wanted that smoke.

He held open the portrait hole, "Do you need me to show you where your room is?" His voice was so patronizing.

"No." I said like a five year old as I turned back to him.

"Good." He said and let the portrait close in my face.

I wanted to scream; he could be so infuriating.

**A/n: Now on to the next chapter ----- **


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

**A/n: Since Halloween is coming up, here's one for the holiday! Enjoy! Also sorry this chapter is so short. **

**Chapter 10: Halloween is the politically correct holiday for dressing like a whore**

Halloween is definitely my favorite holiday; Christmas and New Years are close seconds. The decorations that covered the castle always brought a smile to my face, especially the giant pumpkins that Hagrid grew especially for the Great Hall. It was all just wonderful and to top it off, we always threw the best party and this year was no different.

"Have you two gotten your costumes for our party?" James asked Lily and Lola while we were all hanging out in the common room, "You know no one gets if in you don't have a costume."

"Of course." Lily said, "It _is_ tomorrow."

"You, too Bailey." I asked her when she didn't answer.

"Yeah." She said hesitantly, "I'm still a little unsure about it."

"We went shopping together; you guys are going to love our costumes." Lily said, "Halloween is the only time that's it okay to dress like a whore."

I snorted, "I'll have to disagree with you on that, Evans. Anytime of the year it's okay to dress like a whore." Both Bailey and Lily shot me dirty looks, James tried to suppress his laugh and Remus just shook his head.

The room of requirement was all ready for the party. We placed a silencing charm on the room, so we could play the music louder and we could be even louder. The beers were chilled, the firewhiskey and other hard liquor was out and the bar was charmed to pour the drinks it's self. The food was charmed to refill it self when it got low and of course the bowl of candy was charmed to be never ending. The room was set up with a dance floor and plenty of room for sitting or basically room to snog. James is dressed in a red tunic with a cape, tight pants, boots to his knees, a sword attached to his waist with a large hat with a white feather sticking out of it; he's a musketeer. Remus is what he calls a "Gunslinger", which is basically an old west out law. He had on a pair of black slacks with a black vest over a white collared shirt and a full-length black duster coat and a black cow boy hat plus a gun holstered around his waist. Peter was dressed as a prisoner in a full-length black and white stripped outfit with a ball and chain around his ankle. I had my hair charmed into a perm that was poofed out like an afro; I had on a pair of tight flare-legged jeans, a loose fitting shirt that I left unbuttoned and a microphone slung around my neck for added affect; I decided to pay homage to the best lead singer on the earth, Robert Plant.

The rooms filled quickly, people from all the houses were allowed even the Slytherins but they were in for more of trick then a treat.

"I found you." Lily said, wrapping her arm around James's, "I've been looking for you for the last twenty minutes." Lily was dressed as a belly dancer, in a black midriff baring outfit with gold trim and a scarf around her face, "The party is great. Lola was just…" I didn't catch the rest of what Lily was saying because I got a little distracted by the girl standing next to her. I can't believe I didn't notice her when Lily approached and I sure and hell wouldn't have realized who it was if Lily hadn't just said her name. She had on a blue-green velvet dress with a peasant-style top and flared skirt. The long sleeves were a sheer black material. The front laced up like a corset and front of the skirt had a ruching affect. She had on a pair of pointy black boots that went to her thighs and a large pirate had a top her head. She looked positively hot.

"Nice costume, Bailey." I said drawing her attention to me. I freely let my eyes roam over her again, resting on the voluptuous amount of cleavage before meeting her eyes. Her cheeks were pink.

"Can you at least stop staring like a pig?" She asked putting her hands on her hips. I gave her a debonair smile.

"No." She rolled her eyes, "Why don't we dance?" I said putting my beer down on the table I was leaning against.

"I'll pass." She said turning away from me and walking away. My eyes slide to her rear end as she walked away. She didn't get far before Justin, the Ravenclaw Keeper, stepped in front of her. He asked her something and she glanced over her shoulder at me before allowing him to lead her to the dance floor and press his body closer hers. I turned back to the table for the rest of my beer before heading over to the bar for shots.

"Want some company?" A sweet voice said from behind me as I was on my fourth shot. Isabella is a Hufflepuff that has no Hufflepuff characteristics; she is sweet but passionate in more then one way. She was dressed as nurse in a tight low cut white dress plus the little nurse's hat with thigh high stockings and heels that made her about two inches shorter then me instead of five or six inches.

"Of course but why don't we dance." I told her before downing my last shot and grabbing her hand to lead her to the dance floor, making sure I bumped into Bailey. She shot me a dirty look and I gave her smug smile. Our subconscious raunchy dancing competition lasted for four songs until she wandered off the dance in search of something to drink. I lost track of her when Isabella started to kiss my neck.

Isabella quickly disappeared into the crowd after we returned to the party, probably going to tell her girlfriends all the juicy details, and I returned to my favorite area, the bar. I mixed my self a drink, casually leaning against the bar as my eyes roamed the room and I sipped my drink.

"Hey Pads." Remus said as he walked stiffed legged towards me with a glazed look in his eye and large smile; he was royally drunk. Peter was close behind him.

"Enjoying yourself Moony." I laughed as he swayed before bracing the bar and grabbing another shot.

"I must say, nobody can throw a party better then us." Remus slurred.

"Here, here." I added just to amuse him.

"Remus come dance with me." A beautiful brunette said as she grabbed Remus's hands and led him towards the dancing. He wiggled his eyebrows at me before he allowed her to pull him away.

"You'll keep an eye on him?" I asked Peter, who didn't seem to have drunk anything. He nodded, "Just make sure he stays out of trouble." I added before leaving. I walked the whole perimeter of the room, pausing to listen to all the compliments about the party, but I hadn't seen her. I pulled the map out of my pocket, glanced around for any teachers before looking for her dot. She was just outside the room. I stuffed the parchment back into my pocket and cut across the dance floor to the door.

A bottle of water sat on the window ledge that she was leaning against and looking out. Her head rested on the stonewall, her hat sat on the floor next to her feet as did the pointy boots. She didn't hear me approach.

"Do you mind if I have some?" I asked standing next to her.

"What?" She asked perking her head up.

"Can I have some?" I pointed to her water.

"Sure." She shrugged and continued to stare out the window, "Keep it though, I'm not sure where your mouth has been." And there goes the civilized conversation.

"If you're curious," I said as I leaned next her putting back down the water bottle, "I can show you." She took a sharp intake of breath and her hand fisted the hem of her skirt but she quickly regained herself.  
"You can keep dreaming." She said and shoved me away.

"Why do you have to so be up tight?" She took great offense to that.

"I am not."

"Yes. Yes you are."

"No." She pouted while she tried to gather her things but I grabbed her by her upper arms and held her so she couldn't get away.

"You need to loosen up and we would get along much better."

"You need to not be a prick and we would get along much better." She retorted, struggling in my grasp.

"No, I think it's your fault." She huffed, "Just relax, lighten up, just go with the flow and don't take everything so seriously, I'm just joking most of the time. Trust me you'll like life much better." I let her go and she just stared at me, "Have a nice night." I said after we stared at each other for a few minutes and headed back to the party.

**A/n: I'll try to start to write the next set of chapter soon but in the mean time don't forget to review and if anyone has any ideas for future chapters just let me know, I'm still kinda at a road block with this story, even though I have the ending chapters written. Thanks.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

**Chapter 11: Cool Points**

I grabbed my hat storming off in the opposite direction of _him_. Who does he think he is telling me I need to lighten up? The audacity of that man. I held onto the banister of the changing stair case as it flew over to the next landing that's when that stupid hat's words came back to me; letting go of my inhibitions. I didn't realize the staircase had latched to the landing until it lurched again and started going back to the landing I had just come from. I didn't regain myself in time to get off the stairs.

"Having fun?" I jumped at the voice that sounded behind me.  
"I got side tracked." I said when I turned to look at him. His silver eyes were slightly bloodshot but amused nonetheless, "Are those my shoes?" I asked eyeing the black boots in his hands.

"Yeah, I noticed that you left them; I was bringing them back to you." He said stepping onto the stairs with me.

"Oh…uh, thanks." I said gripping the banister when the stairs lurched again. I reached out for the boots when I stepped onto the landing but he followed me off the stairs, "What about your party?"

He shrugged, "People are starting to pass out or leave. And plus I took some of the party with me." He pulled out a bottle of Firewhiskey from one of my boots. I chuckled and shook my head. He held the portrait hold open from me with a big smile. I walked over to the girl's stairs and he plopped onto the couch.

"Do you think I can get my shoes?" I asked with a small smirk.

"Of course." He said gallivant before pulling out the bottle of firewhiskey from my boot and tossed them to me as I walked over to him; I froze them because I wasn't prepared for them to be thrown at me.

"That will always be the coolest." Sirius said sitting up and taking a swig from the bottle. I chuckled as I grabbed the frozen boots. He went to take another swing and I shifted the boots in my hands so I could freeze the hand that was holding the firewhiskey.

"Hey, that is not cool." Sirius said, staring wide eyed at his frozen hand and the firewhiskey he couldn't get to.

"Night." I laughed and turned towards the stairs.

"Wait, you can't leave me like this." He called as I bounded up the stairs. I giggled and flicked my hand before I went around the corner. I think he could still here me laughing after I closed my bedroom door.

After I threw my stuff on the floor and changed out that atrocious costume, I plopped down on my bed with a long relaxing sigh and was hit with a great idea.

----

I didn't have any classes until after lunch on Monday but I still got up early and spent an hour finding a "cool" outfit; I don't know why I fretted over what I should wear. I hurried down the hall towards the charm's classroom. The door was slightly cracked and I could hear the squeaky voice of the professor and what sounded like books crashing to the floor. I pushed the door open a little more, so I could see in; Sirius and the others were in the front of the class and the professor was running about the room trying to help everyone. I stuck just my hands into the room and flicked my wrists but nothing happened. I scrunched my brow and concentrated harder, closing my eyes to picture the room frozen. I felt a warmth spread through me as I concentrated harder and flicked my wrist.

"What the hell?" I heard a voice say in the room. It worked.

I opened my eyes to see the whole room frozen, except for one in the front of the class with his back to me but I could see him looking around the room and knew that his face was of pure shock and confusion. I stepped into the room with my hands clasped behind my back and bouncing on the balls of my feet.

"Hey." I said with the smile on my face growing bigger. He whipped around quickly and understanding slowly creeping over his face.

"Did you…" He started and I nodded, "Why?" I shrugged my shoulders, slowly regretting even going through with this spur of the moment idea.

"I-I…I was just practicing." I lied and turning on my heel back towards the door, "I'll unfreeze it."

"Wait." I didn't even know he had moved until he was grabbing me by my wrist.

"Well, since you already froze…" He said and continued passed me. I quickly followed him out of the room and once we got around the corner from the classroom I felt my hold on the room disappear. I followed him as he led us out of the castle to the grounds, to relax under a large willow tree; we were hidden from view by the large, weeping branches. He stretched out on his back and light up a cigarette.

"I'm glad you came." He said as he blew out some smoke; I felt my face blush, "Class was really boring." I felt the small amount of hope disappear.

"Yeah, well I was bored sitting around the common room." I said.

"I thought you were just practicing?" He asked with a smirk before bringing his cigarette to his lips; I bit my lip and tried to think of something to say, "I like the clothes, by the way." I just shrugged and laid on my back to stare up at the throngs of branches and birds, "You know I think that power of yours will come in handy this year." He said after putting out the butt of his cigarette; I snorted.

---

School was starting to lose its edge; I still feel like I was given this great opportunity but it is starting to feel just like normal school. I don't think it helped that for most of the week I had class about every other day and usually it was just one or two classes a day.

On Wednesday, I was checking my bag to make sure I had everything I needed for potions and didn't even notice him leaning against the wall between the Boy's and Girl's staircases.

"Hey." He said as I walked by him without seeing him.

"Oh, hey." I said to him as I closed the clasp on my bag, "Aren't you going to class?"

"Yeah." Sirius said as he stepped in step with me, "I was just waiting for you. James and Remus are going to save us seats."

A nodded a response because I didn't know what else to say; he had been waiting for me and from the sounds of it he was _voluntarily_ waiting for me. I guess I must of earned myself some major cool points the other day because it became a regular occurrence for Sirius or all of the guys to wait for me before class and invite me to "hang" with them between classes and on the weekends. I could feel them rubbing off on me.

* * *

**A/n: I know it took me a really long time update; I'm so sorry but this story has my full attention now. I hope I still have my readers and reviewers. I'm going to start on the next chapter right now. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

**Chapter 12: What Do You Stand For?**

By December first had come the grounds were completely covered in snow and the odds of seeing green again were slim; I don't mind though, my favorite time at Hogwarts is during winter. The season wasn't the only thing had changed; Bailey is actually pretty cool even though she still made me nervous and antsy.

It was time for another cigarette, Bailey is shuffling through the common room cleaning it; I told her it was useless, the houseelves are very good at what they do but she said she was bored, so I still didn't understand why she was cleaning if she was bored. I'll never be able to get away with smoking in the common room; Lily was sitting the corner studying. I started to shake my foot, while I watched James and Peter play Wizard's chess and Bailey clean the mantle.

"Those things will kill you." James said without looking up from the game; he knew me long enough that once I started bouncing I needed a cigarette.

"Something is going to kill me eventually." It was my normal answer.

"Don't you dare do it in here." James said, he glanced up from the game to Lily in the corner, missing Peter's piece smashing his last pawn.

"I know. I know." I pushed myself off the seat, making sure I had my cigs and a lighter.

"Take Lola." James said, "I think she might explode if she doesn't find something to do."

I laughed, "Hey Bailey. I'm going outside, c'mon." She gladly put down her cleaning supplies to join me outside. We bundled up in our jackets on our way outside the castle.

I paused on the steps to the grounds to light up a cigarette while Bailey jumped off the steps into the snow. I followed her to the lake, taking a seat next to her on one of the rocks.

"What happens to the Giant Squid?" She asked looking out over the lake.

"Huh?" I blew the smoke away from her.

"Where does the Giant Squid go during the winter when the lake is frozen?

I looked over the lake, "I don't know. I guess under the ice." She shrugged. I took another long drag off the cigarette.

"Why do you smoke?" She asked; I feel like I'm playing forty questions.

" 'Cause." I answered like a smart-ass. She glanced at me and rolled her eyes, "I guess my home life wasn't satisfactory and these helped."

She snorted, "Your home life." I forgot; I felt like an ass. I opened my mouth to apologize but she spoke first, "What's that?" She pointed to the sky over Hogsmeade.

I followed to where she was pointing and jumped to my feet, "We have to go back." My cigarette hissed when I dropped into the snow.

"What's wrong?" She asked glancing back over her shoulder at the glowing green skull in the sky as she hurried to keep up with me. I didn't answer her but broke into a run when we got inside.

"James." I cried when I jumped into the common room; everyone stared at me and James got to his feet. I grabbed him by his upper arm, dragging him into a corner; "There's been a attack in Hogsmeade. A Death Eater attack." I said in whispered in urgency. James stiffened.

"Got tell Remus and Lily." James ordered and hurried over to get Peter.

We followed him out of the common without any more unneeded attention.

"Peter, go to Dumbledore tell him what happened." James said, "We have to get going." We didn't have the map but didn't matter; we all knew we had to get to Hogsmeade now!

"I don't understand." Bailey cried as we ran through the corridors to the third floor, "What's wrong?"

"There's been an attack in Hogsmeade." Lily explained as she followed us into the passage to Hogsmeade.

I grabbed Bailey's wrist and pulled her next to me, "The skull in the sky means that someone was murdered." She stumbled over her feet when I finished my sentence; I think she finally realized what we are rushing into.

We didn't bother checking to see if anyone was in Honeydukes' cellar before pushing aside the hidden door in the floor and emerging into the cellar. The streets of Hogsmeade were in chaos; we hadn't realized when the attack took place. There aren't any Aurors in site and from the sounds of the screams echoing through the small town, the Death Eaters are still here. We ran against the crowd towards the screams, none of us voicing our fear. I kept glancing at Bailey, she's the only one I'm worried about; we all had wands and more then one-way to protect ourselves but she didn't. The crowd running towards us got thicker and we got separated. After I got passed the thick crowd, there were about half a dozen Death Eaters firing spells at the fleeting crowds. It's shocking that only a handful of Death Eaters can scare a whole town. I saw James and Lily emerge from the crowd firing spells at the Death Eaters, taking them by surprise and stunning two. I deflected a spell aimed at James. Remus appeared just in time to save my ass. We ducked behind whatever we could find to doge the spells being shot at us. I tried to scurry over to James but was met face on with a red jet of light that miraculously froze before me. I turned around to find Bailey behind me. She threw up her hands again, just as I turned around to find another spell zooming at me.

"Move." She yelled at me distressed. She threw her hands again, freezing another jet of red light; her face was contorted in concentration as she tried to freeze a jet of yellow light, "Uh oh." I heard her say and looked over my shoulder just in time to see her fly backwards. She landed with an "umpf"; the other spells she froze zoomed over her head. She shook it off and got back to her feet and freezing another spell. Lola sidestepped away from the spell and blew the sign of Gladrags off its hinges onto one of the Death Eaters. Lola was distracted by the Death Eater she dropped the sign on and didn't see the other Death Eater send a spell her way; I grabbed her by her wrist before the jet of green light could reach her. I looked around Lola, down the street at the Death Eaters but they were gone.

"It's Dumbledore." Lola said; coming from the other direction down the street was Dumbledore, McGonagall and Slughorn. I let out a long breath, relaxing next to Lola on the ground.

"You okay?" I asked. She nodded slowly. I got to my feet then held out a hand to help her to her feet; she stayed close to me.

"Back to school, all of you." Dumbledore ordered when he got to us; we all diverted our eyes to the ground, "To my office."

We slowly trudged back to the castle; Lola kept close to me during the walk back. We didn't wait long for Dumbledore to appear in his office.

"What were you four thinking?" He roared at us while we stood before his desk, "You all could have been killed!"

"Sorry, Professor." We mumbled together.

"That was incredibly stupid." Dumbledore yelled, "And also incredibly brave." He said softly, "I'm very proud of you four; not many grown Wizards or Witches can stand up against a group of Death Eaters. You all should be going to bed, you have classes tomorrow."

"You all okay?" I finally asked on our way back. Remus and James nodded.

"I wasn't scared till after." Lily said.

James gave Lily a kiss on the forehead at the bottom of the Girls'; Remus let out a big sigh as he slowly trudged up Boys' stairs; Lola collapsed on the couch in front of the dieing fire. I stood at the base the of the stairs watching James take them two at a time and looking back over my shoulder at Lola sitting alone on the couch. I plopped down next to her; we were sitting so close that our thighs were rubbing against each other.

"Thanks for today." I told her; she shrugged and gave me a half smile, "You're going to be okay?"

"Yeah. That was just a little scary." She said, "Everyone was so afraid but there was only like six of them; a whole town fled."

"I know what you mean. I can't believe that, that little amount of people can scare so many others because of what they are." I said; I stretched and yawned loudly, "I think I'm going to head up to bed; you going to bed?"

She shook her head, "Naw, I think I'm going to stay up for a little longer." She curled up on the couch, resting her head on the armrest.

"Me, too." I said, letting her stretch her legs out on my lap and tossing her a pillow.

**A/n: I've been working hard the last couple of days on this chapter to get it up quickly for you guys. Review, please.**


	13. Chapter 13

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**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

**Jenny: You misread the passage…Sirius imagines that this is girl is a dead sexy brunette but in actuality she's a prim-sheltered girl but that doesn't mean she can't become the girl Sirius imagines, physically or other wise. I hope that clears it up. Thanks for the review.**

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**Chapter 13: The Magic of Rolling Stone**

I had a creak in my neck when I woke up the next morning; I rolled onto my back, throwing out my legs and arms to stretch and wake up more when I came into contact with something hard and heard a loud grunt. I peeked through one eye to find my legs stretched out on Sirius's lap and him rubbing his stomach where I had kicked him accidentally. I recoiled my legs to sit, staring at him.

He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes while he rubbed his stomach, "What was that for?"

"Sorry." I muttered, looking around the room; we were the only ones there and from the way it looks out the window the sun is raising.

"Crap, what time is it?" He asked running his hands over his face and brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"Uhh…I'm not sure; pretty early I suppose." I couldn't remember falling asleep last night, "Why are we on the couch?" I finally asked.

"For some reason you didn't want to go to your room last night, so I thought instead of sulking alone, I'd sulk with you but you ended up falling asleep a few minutes later and I guess I did too." I nodded, "You doing better?"

"Yeah. Thanks." I slide off the couch, "I think I'll head up to my room. I'll see you later for Care of Magical Creatures."

By the time Dinner rolled around, after my double Care of Magical Creatures class where we chased around Billywigs and caught the people who got stung before they floated off, I was exhausted. I dropped my bag on the floor along the bench and took a seat in between Remus and James; Sirius sat across from me, equally as tired if not more. I loosened my tie and un-tucked my blouse before digging into the delicious dinner.

"God, I'm so tired I almost don't have the energy to eat." Sirius said between bite fulls. We stared at him for a second before laughing at him while he shoveled food into his mouth.  
"I don't think I ever want to see you eat when you are energy." I laughed; he gave me a lopsided smile that made my stomach jump. I looked away from quickly, concentrating on my own food.

After dinner, We were all stuffed while we sat in the common room, the guys at the constant center of attention (even when they were sitting by the fire talking amongst themselves) but what shocked me the most was how many people came up to me to talk. Life is so different here, "muggle" schools were such more intimidating but people here are so nice (except the Slytherins of course); I also think it has something to do with me being around the Marauders.

Sirius let out a bored yawn, "I think I'm going to go upstairs." He announced and the girls that had gathered around the couch to try to engage him in conversation groaned and looked disappointed, "Anyone else wanna come up?"

"I do." I said, shrugging; he didn't object and I followed him up the boy's stairs.

Sirius threw himself on his bed with a relaxing groan; I took refuge at Remus's desk (the only cleanest section of the room); with a wave of Sirius's wand the room filled with music. He laid on his back, banging his hands to the rhythm of the drums while I teetered the chair on two legs, tapping my foot to the music.

"Who is this?" I yelled over the music; I had heard him listen to this band before (at least I think) but I never knew who it was. Sirius shot up and stared at me with disbelief.

Once over his initial shock he was able to speak, "Who is this? How can you not know? How can you be a living, breathing teenager and not know?" He cried then he looked me over, "Oh right." He said dryly.

What was that suppose to mean? I glared at him as he seemed to relax and his blood pressure seemed to become normal again.

"It's Led Zeppelin." He told me, "The best band ever." He added as an after thought and sounding like a child, "I was the lead singer for Halloween." He continued as if the more he told me I would immediately know whom he was talking about. I nodded slowly, pretending to know but my façade didn't faze him. He laughed at me and I glared at him again.

"Come here." He said; I was a little hesitant but I pushed myself up from the chair and plopped down on his bed next to him. He pulled out a thick stack of magazines from his desk. He flipped through them until he found the one he wanted, "March 1975 issue." He told me, laying it out on the bed before me, "That's Robert Plant and Jimmy Page." He said pointing to them respectively, "From Led Zeppelin."

Sirius had almost every issue of Rolling Stone Magazine since 1975, the year he started listening to muggle rock music (it pissed off his mother, he had explained, and that gave him satisfaction). We flipped through almost every issue; Sirius would point out his favorite bands from the pages of the magazine then play a song for me. I could see Sirius sprawled out in the pages of Rolling Stone; his personality, style and sense of self was all through out the magazines. Sirius puffed on a cigarette while I continued to flip through the pages, asking him question now and then but thoroughly transfixed with everything in the magazine. It depicted everything I wanted to be since I had met him; it spelled everything out for me. Sirius let me borrow some of his albums and the magazines that I hadn't gotten to go through yet.

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The next Hogsmeade weekend, I split up from the guys to do some shopping of my own and it wasn't until that evening that I met up with them again.

"Hey guys." I said bounding down the stairs, my hair bouncing around me and my hands tucked into my pockets.

"Oh hey Lo…" James trailed off when he looked up from his poker game with Lily. Remus looked up when James trailed off and his eyes bugged out just like James.

"Prongs, have you seen…" Sirius lost his train of thought after he stepped off the last step from the boy's dorms and scanned the room, finding me.

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**A/n: off to the next chapter….**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.**

**A/n: I wanted to apologize for the long delay in updating; this semester has me actually doing homework since my classes aren't all huge lecture classes. I'm going to try and find more time to write in between all my homework and of course hanging with my friends. Please continue to Read and Review :)**

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**Chapter 14: Pretty Woman**

Shockingly, I was pretty bored in Hogsmeade today and I don't know why but I think it had something to do with Bailey's, I mean Lola's (James reprimanded me earlier for calling her by her last name but old habits are hard to break) disappearance. I've just started liking her company, in a completely platonic way but she was someone who I could talk to about music and stuff. She still made me nervous out of my mind and usually smoked like twice the normal amount of cigarettes when I am around her but I only think that's because of her properness and chasteness.

The guys were already in the common room while I had been in my room, listening to music by myself and decided to go find Bai- Lola. I jogged down the stairs to the common room.

I brushed the hair out of my face, "Prongs, have you seen…" I lost all train of thought as I followed James and Remus's dumbstruck looks. I felt my jaw drop and my eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.

I finally found Lola, actually I'm not even sure if it's her; from the looks of it I think it's some alien robot that is doing a really bad impersonation of her. I had to remind myself to breath; I think I need a cigarette or maybe it's because of all the brain cells that I've killed over the years with pot and cigarettes that I think this girl standing at the foot of the girl's stairs is Lola. I blinked a few times and rubbed my eyes; I must have looked like the biggest dork but I'm having the shock of my life.

Lola shoved her hands in her pockets and shrugged her shoulders without a word. My eyes roamed from her feet taking in the black and white converse that covered them to the ripped up jeans with the black stud belt around her waist, to the plain black tank top, to the beads around her neck that was very Janis Joplin like, to the darkened hair with the tips dyed dark red, to the blush on her cheeks then I definitely knew this was Lola.

"What the hell?" I finally managed, patting my pockets to make sure I had my cigarettes and a lighter.

"What?" She asked aloofly, sauntering over to the couch and plopping down on it; I stared at her wide-eyed. Who is this girl?

"What do you mean what?" I asked, bearing down her pretend aloofness. She shrugged and started to flip through the book she picked up from next to her. I sputtered a few more words as I walked around the couch to face her, "What happened to you?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes and slammed the book shut, "Can you please just drop it." She asked loudly. I stared at her, trying to take in her new look before looking into her eyes; they were pleading to me, contrasting with her new look; I could see the normal Lola, the girl that I first met.

"I'm going to go have a smoke, do you want to go outside with me?" I asked holding out my hand for her. She nodded shyly and slowly put her hand in mine; you can change the outside but the inside is still the same.

We walked silently though the corridors on our way to the grounds but the students we passed didn't do the same. Everyone is noticing Lola's new change of clothes; guys were staring at her with a hunger in their eyes that made me want to give them a bloody nose; I tripped over my feet at that realization. My pace quickened, I need to get outside.

I slowly followed Lola through the garden, puffing on a cigarette.

"So are you going to tell me why?" I asked after exhaling the smoke and taking another drag while she stopped to admire one of the many perfect roses.

"I dunno." She said absentmindedly while her fingers traced the soft petals of the rose, "I wanted to change. I wanted to be like you." She said quickly. I laughed and her head shot up to look at me; she was serious. Why would anyone want to be like me? I'm the biggest screw up. I stared at her while she did her best not to look at me again.

I laughed playfully and grabbed Lola in a headlock, "Let's go listen to some music." She laughed as she struggled to get out of my grasp. I let her head go but kept my arm slung around her shoulders while we made our way back to the castle.

----

"What's Jones think he's doing?" The words came out of my mouth before I could process them first. Charms had just finished and I was walking out of the classroom with my bag slung over my shoulder and my friends on either side of me. Lola is at the end of corridor talking to Thomas Jones, who is flirting with her rather than talking with her; seeing them together sparked something in me that I've decided is a big brother like instinct (and nothing more); James, Remus, and Peter must have caught on to what I was getting at and followed me over to the duo at the end of the corridor.

"Your hair looks amazing. It's a good look for you." Thomas was saying as we approached while he ran his fingers through her hair. She blushed, characteristically of herself when any guy showed her attention, as he did so.

"Thanks." She answered.

"How's it?" I said announcing our presence. I saw the anger flash in Thomas's eyes as he saw us surround Lola.

"Hey guys." Lola said bubbly; even with a change of clothes her bubbly personality still shown through most of the time, "Thomas, this is…"

"Yeah, I know them." He interrupted, shooting each of us a glare that if it weren't for the fact that it was Lola he was hitting on we all would have immediately found an excuse to leave suddenly.

"Lola, I think you left your Potions book in my room the other night." I lied.

"Are you sure?' She asked with a look of contemplation as she tried to recall leaving her book in my room.

"Yeah, I think I found it under a shirt of mine when I was cleaning up after you left." I said, my eyes locked on Thomas as I talked, "Let's go have a look. Plus I finally got the muggle radio in the mail this morning, we can go try it out in Hogsmeade."

"Okay." She said, "I guess I'll see you later." She told Thomas.

"Yeah, sure." He said, his eyes looking up at me, James, Remus and Peter then back at Lola.

I put my hand on the small of Lola's back to guide her past Thomas, bumping into him as I did so.

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**A/n: Review, please it would make me happy. Happy Valentine's Day or to all the single people out there like myself Happy LOST Wednesday :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the books.**

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**Chapter 15: It's only human nature**

I always wondered what it would be like to have a big brother; someone to always watch out for you and at Hogwarts, I got three but it wasn't exactly what I thought it would be. They watched over me like a hawk, even James who had his own girlfriend to watch over; I liked the protection, though. I felt like I had someone who actually cared for me; I had the friends that I never had because of moving so much. The one thing I hated about them was their stupid advice on guys; they were always telling to stay away from the guys that talked to me, especially Thomas but I didn't want to listen to them about him, so I didn't.

"We're having a party in the one of the dungeons tonight, do you want to come?" Thomas asked. We're outside by the lake, hidden by the trees of the forbidden forest.

"Sure." I shrugged.

Thomas held my hand as he led me to through the dungeons to the party; I have on a short wispy dressed that Thomas really likes on me. The lighting in the dungeon was dim with strobe lights but it was packed full. We had to squeeze through the crowd as Thomas led me across the room. He grabbed two colored plastic cups and handed me one; I took the cup hesitantly but he gave me a reassuring smile.

"You'll like it. Trust me." He said, pulling me closer and wrapping an arm around my waist. I took a small sip; it was sweet but left a bitter aftertaste.

Thomas kept me close to his side through the whole party, dancing close to me, refilling my drink once I finished and was very affectionate, kissing me at any moment he could. I started to feel dizzy and like my eyes were crossing whenever I tried to look at anything. Thomas took me to a seclude corner of the dungeon, I had to lean against him for support (which he didn't mind). I stumbled through the crowd while Thomas held one of my hands to pull me across the room and a cup in the other hand. We didn't get far outside the door when Thomas stopped and I had to lean against him again. He kissed me; he caressed me; he leaned me against the wall so he didn't have to hold me up. The kisses were sloppy, his caress was rough and it wasn't enjoyable. When his hand began to slip up my thigh and under the hem of my dress, realization dawned on me and realized what he wanted. I broke the kiss, quietly muttering my objection but he hushed me kissing my neck and offering me the drink.

"No." I groaned, pushing his hand away from me; a headache starting to set in.

"Just drink." He said holding the drink to my lips. I pursed my lips together, turning my head away from the cup.

"Stop it." I said, brushing his hands away from me, "I want to go back."

"What is wrong with you?" He yelled, throwing the cup against the wall next to me and grabbing me by upper arm. I tried to struggle out of his grip but if I moved too quickly I felt dizzy and braced myself against the wall. He tried to kiss me again but I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away. He growled and pushed me against the wall, "A bloody waste." He said and stumbled back towards the door to the party.

I felt too sick to move and too dizzy to walk; I slid down the wall to the floor.

I jumped awake when I felt someone slid their arms under the back of my knees and around my waist.

"It's okay." The voice cooed.

"Sirius." I sighed in relief.

"Let's get you back to the tower." I leaned my head against his shoulder as he started back to the Gryffindor tower. He laid me down gently on his bed in the dormitory, sliding off my shoes.

"I should have listened to you." I cried as he sat down next to me on the edge of his bed.

"Are you okay?" He asked rubbing my hand as James and Remus joined us on the bed, "He didn't try anything?"

I shook my head, not wanting the guys to do anything to Thomas, "No. He was just a jerk." I didn't miss the look the boys shared between each other.

"How you feeling?"

"My head hurts but that's it." I told in him all honesty.

"Just sleep; you'll feel better in the morning." He said and I snuggled into the pillows.

I was wrapped up in a warm sheet and comforter when I awoke the next morning. I had a slight headache but nothing too bad. I thought I was alone in the dorms but just after I sat up in Sirius's bed, Remus came out of the bathroom.

"Morning." He said as he threw his toothbrush back into his trunk, "Feeling alright?" He asked as he plopped down on the bed next to me.

I laughed as we bounced for a second, "Fine. Where are Sirius and James?"

"They went to grab us some breakfast and Peter had detention with Binns this morning…well I guess it's actually afternoon." I looked at him quizzically; he nodded to the clock on the bedside table behind me. It was a quarter to one in the afternoon; "A night of heavy drinking will do that to you." He laughed at my wide-eyed expression.

"Yeah, well I'm not doing that again." I said, throwing the covers off me.

"Naw, you just have to do it with the right people." I knew whom he was talking about…them. He is right though; they would watch out for me and not shove more drinks down my throat. The dorm door was thrown open, James and Sirius marched in laughing at something with an arm full of bags of food each.

"Well, it looks like someone decided to get up today." James said dumping the bags of food on the foot of Sirius's bed.

"So, I guess it's my bed that we're eating on." Sirius muttered, dropping his bags on the bed with James's, "How you feeling?" He asked me; I finally noticed the cut on his lower lip.

"How did you get that?" I asked. He shrugged, throwing me a pastry. He didn't answer me but instead started shoving his mouth full of food.

"I'm gonna head to the library; I have to finish Charms homework." Remus said, grabbing his bag and one more cinnamon roll before leaving.

"I think I'm going to go find Lily." James said, excusing himself from the room; which left me alone with Sirius…great.

He didn't say anything right away but after a few minutes of pretending to look around the room, he finally started talking.

"What were you thinking?" He asked quietly, not looking at me but across the room.

"I don't know; I didn't think anything of. He wasn't the bad guy you all made him out to be." I said, "I liked the way he made me feel." I couldn't look him in the eye; I felt embarrassed revealing my lack of faith in myself and my search for who I am.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked taking my hands in his.

"He made me…I felt…" I can't bring myself to say it.

"You don't need someone like him to make you feel anything." Sirius said, "You are beautiful, no matter what anyone says."

I stared into his grey eyes with smile on my face; why is it human nature to want what you can't have? Why do we put ourselves through that pain? He smiled back at me and kissed my forehead before heading towards the bathroom. Because it's the little things that make the pain feel good.

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**A/n: So I worked on this through out the day instead of going to my class, you guys should be proud of me. Next chapter will be up soon but in the mean time review.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I don't anything you recognize**

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**Chapter 16: A Pain so good**

James and Remus warned me that she would be mad at me if she found out I'm spying on her but it is a risk I am willing to take. I tapped the map with my wand while saying the magic words. I scanned the map until I found Lola's dot; she is in the dungeons but Thomas is in the next room over same as everyone else. Something isn't right. I cleared the map and told James and Remus that I would be back in few minutes. I ignored their objections as I hurried from the room. I took as many short cuts as I could remember to get down the dungeons as fast I could. I quickly walked through the dimly lit dungeons with my hand in my jacket pocket clutching my wand. She was sitting on the ground with her back against the wall; she didn't look up when I approached and quickly realized that she was asleep. I quietly and gently as I could, slid my arm under the back of her knees and around her waist, lifting her into my arms. She woke up with a jolt the moment I started to lift her up. I told her it's okay and she sighed in relief when she realized it was me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned her head against my shoulder.

I wanted to tell James and Remus I told you so but there wasn't a need. I laid Lola on my bed and she woke up. I could see it in her eyes that she lied when she said Thomas didn't try anything. I waited until she fell asleep before I left the dorm. I headed back down to the dungeons, rage pumping through my veins. I just hoped that the party was still going on, so I didn't have to fight my way into the Ravenclaw tower. I pushed my way through the crowd, most of them being Slytherins, until I found Thomas. I whirled him around and punched him in jaw. For someone who was drunk he fought pretty well, landing plenty of punches and one especially, that split my lip but that was the only real damage that he inflicted on me while I beat him up pretty well. I would have kept going if it wasn't for the fact that James and Remus showed up, pulling me off. I wiped off the blood from my lip and kicked him once more in the stomach. The crowd separated for us as we left.

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I ignored her constant questioning about my lip; finding some way not to answer it, popping a cigarette in my mouth was a good one. But once we went to the dinner that night, it was quite obvious of what happened. She gave me a shocked look when she laid eyes on Thomas at his table but I ignored that too.

"I can't believe you." She said as we sat down at the Gryffindor table.

"What?" I said not looking at her but piling food on my plate.

"I told you he didn't do anything." She continued, "I drank too much."

"Why are you defending him?" I asked her angrily, "He isn't worth it and what he tried shouldn't be excused." She looked away from me to her hands her lap. I turned away from her and focused back on my food, angrily spooning food into mouth.

"Thank you." She whispered. When I turned to look at her she wasn't looking at me but slowly eating, using all her power to keep focus on her food and not to turn and look at me.

----

The New Year brought an air of depression to the seventh years; school only had a so many months left and after that we would be lurched into real world but it also brought with it more homework since the teachers need to 'prepare us for our NEWTS'. Lily and Remus are doing homework under the shade of the large tree by the lake; Lily tried to get James to do his homework too but he would rather nap in grass next to her; Peter was munching on the last pizza slice; Lola stared up at the clouds, laying next to me in the grass while I finished the last of my cigarette.

"Sirius, it looks like you have some admirers." Remus said; I hadn't even noticed the girls that gathered not too far from us.

"Padfoot always has admirers." James said, his eyes closed and his hands resting on his stomach.

Lola rolled over onto her stomach, she glanced over at the girls, "You know I've wanted to ask you for a while, what is with the nicknames?" James finally opened his eyes, Remus looked from his book and I took the last drag off my cigarette; we glanced at each other.

"It's just something that has stuck around since fifth year." I answered. She cocked an eyebrow and gave me suspicious smile; since when did she become so devilishly sexy? I gave her by best innocent smile and she laughed slightly, not believing a word I just told her.

"You're such a bullshitter." Lola said with sexy smirk with her hands in her back pockets while we followed the others back inside; where did she learn that sexy smirk from.

I faked a gasp, "Was that a swear word out of you mouth missy?" She shoved me playfully and I put on my sexiest smirk; oh, that's where she got it.

"You are such a bad influence, Black." She said with an angelic face that made her ocean blue eyes sparkle; she didn't get that from me.

"Well, I can't argue with you on that." I admitted, "But you are the one who hangs around me too much."

She rolled her eyes, "But really what's with the names?"

I stopped walking, trying to find the right words, "It's not my secret to tell. It's all of ours."

"Okay." She said after seconds of an intense stare.

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Empty beer bottles littered the floor of our dorm floor. Lily was passed out in James's arms while he finished off his last beer; Peter was snoring loudly on his bed; I tossed my empty beer bottle at him and he turned over; Remus was half asleep on his own bed; Lola was asleep on mine. Her breathing was slow and steady; she had one arm above her head and her other hand on her stomach. She had a slight frown on her face while she slept. I glanced over at James to make sure he was still busy with Lily and made sure that Remus is finally asleep before I brushed a strand of her dark hair out of her face. She sighed contently, her frown disappeared and she turned onto her side with her back to me. My eyes traced the outline of her body.

Why is it always human nature to want what you can't have? Do we enjoy that pain or can we not avoid it? Lola rolled over onto her other side, her head resting on my arm and one of her legs thrown over mine. I guess it's because of the little things that make the pain feel so good.

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**A/n: I know it's short but hopefully you all enjoyed it. Reviews would make me very, very happy!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

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**Chapter 17: An Attack**

Spring is most magnificent; I've never seen such natural beauty in my entire life. California didn't have the season change but the east coast didn't have the splendid beauty in its season change as here. I made Sirius walk with me outside everyday; it is nice to be alone with him. The school year is near its end and one more Hogsmeade weekend for everyone to hang out one last time before having to go our separate way.

"Are you going to miss it here?" I asked Sirius while we strolled slowly down the main street of Hogsmeade together.

"Of course." Sirius said, shrugging his shoulders with his hands in his pockets, "Hogwarts was the only place I could be myself and get away from my family. It was my first real home. And if it wasn't for school I wouldn't have met James."

"You guys are both purebloods though."  
"Yeah but our parents don't see eye to eye on bloodlines." Sirius said, "I'm thankful for everyday I've spent at Hogwarts." I watched him out of the corner of my eye while we continued to walk, he had a whimsical look on his face but his shoulders were slightly slouched.

"Watch out." He cried suddenly, drawing my out of my stares as he pulled to him just as a red jet of light flew past me.

"What was that?" I asked looking down the street where the light came from but saw nothing; the street ahead of us was eerily empty.

"It was a stunning spell." Sirius said, staring suspiciously down the street.

"Sirius." James called jogging down the street with Lily, Remus and Peter in tow, "Where did the stunning spell come from?"

"Down the street." Sirius said.

"Who is sending a stunning spell down the street?" Lily asked.

"Death Eaters." Remus said, quietly.

"Don't be ridiculous" Sirius started but Remus interrupted him, turning him around.

"No! Death Eaters." A wall of masked mysteries; they stormed down the street as an army of tanks then they suddenly a rainbow of color cam flying down the street and I was being pulled down to the ground.

"Get off the street." James yelled and we scrambled to our feet dodging spells while Sirius and the other blindly shot spells down the street at the Death Eater.

Screams echoed around us while we crouched in an alley.

"What are Death Eaters?" I asked wishing I had read ahead in my Defense Against the Dark Arts book.

"They're Voldemort's supporters." Sirius said, "They're the reason you're here.' We held our breath as the group passed us with out seeing us.

"We can't just hide here." Lily said.

"We have to do something." James said.

Even though I was terrified I agreed; Sirius's words continued to echo in my mind, 'They're reason you're here.'

"James is right. We can't just sit here." I said trying to not sound scared even though my voice cracked. Everyone nodded in agreement; we took a deep breath and charged into the street. We became immersed in a frantic crowd. Spells were flying all around us; people were falling all around, whether or not they were dead I didn't know. I ran through the crowd towards what everyone was running away from. I didn't know where the others were. A spell zoomed passed me, barely missing me; I glanced over my shoulder and saw the spell hit someone in the back. It was cowardly; they were attacking people while their backs were turn. I continued to push my way through the crowd until I found one. I only had two options and since one would end up in a mess I was actually limited to one.

"Hey buddy." I called.

The Death Eater tuned around curiously, I gave him a small wave and flicked my wrist. Thankfully the Death Eater froze. Just passed the frozen Death Eater I could see Sirius struggling to dual with two Death Eaters. I hurried towards him just as he was blown backwards. He was scrambling to his feet by the time I got to his side. I blew up the spells that were thrown at him while he regained himself and continued his dual with my aid. A green spell was sent from one of the Death Eaters, I tried to blow it up but it didn't work. Sirius must have seen the Death Eater send the spell because he tackled me to the ground just after my failed attempt at blowing up the spell. We both crashed to the ground hard, earning both of us some scratches but we didn't have time to even notice. Seconds later, Sirius cried out in pain, squirming on the ground next to me. I didn't know what to do to help nor did I have the time to figure anyway to help; our two Death Eaters were advancing on us. I flicked one wrist, one of the Death Eaters cringed at the burn on his shoulder but it didn't faze him. Simultaneously they raised their wands at us, fear gripped me but I flicked my wrist again. I sighed in relief when both Death Eaters froze; I didn't think I cold concentrate on only two Death Eaters to freeze them both at the same time. After the two Death Eaters were frozen, Sirius stopped withering in pain next to me. He was breathing heavily.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

He waved me off, "We don't have the time." He pulled me to my feet before dashing into the crowd and I lost him again.

I started helping some of the people and other students off the street. I lead them down a street, into a residential area. I blew the doorknob off the front door of one of the houses and ushered the scared younger students in leading them into the center of the house, telling them to stay quiet and that they would be safe.

I ran back into the heart of the battlefield and was blown off my feet and into the side of a building.

"Son of a…" I brushed myself off determined to find the one who just blew me into the building.

I went to freeze another Death Eater as I raised my arm I felt the damage done by the building. Tears built up in my eyes as I raised my arms to freeze the Death Eater; the Death Eater froze just as she raised his wand again.

"Gotcha." Someone grabbed me from behind, pinning my arms to my side. I struggled in his grasp, I stomped my foot on his and he released me. I pushed away from him but he jumped after me tackling me to the ground. I felt a splintering pain in my side; the pain paralyzed me. The screams of fear slowly disappeared; I looked up from my pinned position to see Dumbledore leading a pack of teachers down the street. The Death Eater on top of me mumbled something and disappeared. I lay on the ground for a second longer before ignoring the pain to get to my feet. I wondered down the street towards the teachers and some of the students.

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**A/n: On to the next chapter!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

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**Chapter: The Order of the Phoenix**

The Death Eaters fled when Dumbledore and the other teachers arrived. Blood dripped down my face from my nose and pain throbbed in my side. James, Lily, Remus, Peter and Loa appeared around Dumbledore and the other teachers; they were just all battered as I was.

"The nurse will be expecting you." Dumbledore told us, "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Down the street. There are some younger students in a house." Lola said. Dumbledore nodded and handed us a portkey. We didn't get to survey the damage done in Hogsmeade before we felt the tug behind our navels.

Remus gripped my shoulder to keep from collapsing when we landed in the Hospital wing. He hopped to one of the beds while James led Lily to another and Peter collapsed on his own. Lola followed me to our beds, taking refuge on the bed next to me. We didn't talk while we waited for the nurse.

She started with James and worked her way down to Lola and me. She immediately stopped the bleeding from my nose and made me strip off my shirt to heal the large bruise on my side after deciding that I didn't have a broken rib.

"I'm going to have to do it the muggle way." She told Lola after examining her shoulder. Lola nodded and squeezed her eyes shut tight while the nurse popped her shoulder back in place.

"Shirt off." The nurse said briskly. My neck cracked as I turned quickly to look over at Lola. She didn't hesitate lifting her shirt over her head. My eyes roamed over her full breasts in her white bra and over her flat stomach.

"It's a broken rib." The nurse said drawing my out of my daze, "Should be healed by the morning; just take this." She handed Lola a skele-grow potion, "Y'all are going to stay here stay here over night and no monkey business, this is a hospital." She eyed, James, Remus, Peter and me.

I relaxed against the fluffy white pillows, watching Lola slip back into her shirt out of the corner of my eye. I was just about to doze off when Dumbledore and the minister of magic (that took over after James's dad's death) came in.

"You all were very brave. You saved may lives." The minister of magic said very diplomatically. He isn't as popular with the magical community as James's dad; many think he is too timid to stop voldemort's forces.

"What's Hogsmeade like?" James asked.

Dumbledore had a solemn look on his face, "It could have been worse and would have been if it wasn't for all of you."

"We need your statements." The minister said, continuing his business as usual attitude.

James looked at us, "Well, we were just walking down the main street and the Death Eaters came out of no where."

"All right, all right." The minister said writing down what James was saying. I knew Hogwarts would be filled with Aurors and other ministry officials if it weren't for Dumbledore.

"Did you see any faces?' The minister continued.

"Can you even tell a Death Eater from your own reflection?" I asked; Dumbledore gave me a warning look, "They were all masked." I added to appease Dumbledore.

"Thank you Mr. Black." The minister said annoyed.

I gave the minister a small salute, "Don't mention it."

The minister stood at the foot of Lola's bed staring at her then turned to Dumbledore, "You can't keep things like this from the ministry, Albus." He said as if none of us were in the room.

"The ministry is fully aware of all the students here." Dumbledore said politely.

"Yes but this one is different from the rest." The minister continued; Lola looked appalled at the minister's treatment.

"Yes but her special abilities are natural to her and there is no registry for her kind of powers." Dumbledore could always be counted on to shut up the politicians.

"That can change." The minister mumbled.

"I believe we are done here. They need their rest." Dumbledore said, "Would you like a spot of tea?" Dumbledore asked, leading the minister to the door.

There is always something about the hospital that made it virtually impossible to sleep. In the darkness I listened to everyone's breathing until I couldn't stand lying there any more. The hospital wing is on of the highest points in the castle surrounded by many turrets that opened to the sky. I quietly snuck out of the hospital wing and headed up a flight of stairs to a turret that I often frequented. I severely wished that I had a cigarette but I had to settle for the next best thing. The room had a little places to hide anything but I couldn't remember where I put it. I finally found the hidden bottle of firewhiskey behind a statue; I use to have bottles hidden through out the castle but after one too many dangerous falls, I promised James I would stop, well at least slow down. I had just taken my first swig when the light from the outside hall illuminated the room for a second.

"Its cold up here." Lola said, wrapping her arms around herself as she emerged from the dark.

"What are you doing up here?" I asked.

"I wasn't asleep either; I saw you leave." She said, ignoring my rudeness and sliding to the floor at my feet with her back against the small wall. I stared down at her before sinking to the floor next to her.

"Thirsty?" She asked eyeing the half empty bottle of firewhiskey.

I shrugged, "I don't have any cigs."

"So then why can't you just sit?"

"You don't know what its like." I snapped.

"You're right, I don't." She said taking the bottle from me. She held back a gag after she swallowed the burning liquid.

"What are you doing?" I asked when she lifted the bottle to her lips again.

"I'm thirsty." She said casually with the bottle against her lips then taking another swig.

"What happens now?" She asked, "What do we do? What can we do?"

"I don't know." I said helplessly. Is it even possible for us to do anything? Voldemort's forces were growing by the second and the minister's appeasement wasn't even tripping Voldemort up.

"We should head back." I said, re-hiding the bottle and helping her to her feet.

Dumbledore came back the next morning while we were gathering our things to leave.

"I would like you all to come to my office." He said. We all nodded silently.

He conjured up enough chairs for all of us to sit in front of his desk and offered us some lemon drops.

"We lost two students in the attack and St. Mungo's was filled with victims." Dumbledore told us, "I knew you all wanted to know and despite the minister's words against it, I felt you should know." No one knew what to say and we all remained silent, "I have brought you here to ask for your help. I already told James and Sirius of the Order of the Phoenix; I would like all of you to join us and do what the ministry wont and can't."

"What is it?" Lily asked.

"An intelligence group, a fighting force; we just want to stop the brewing war." Dumbledore explained, "Our members have different backgrounds, some work for the ministry, others for St. Mungo's."

"It'd be my honor."' I said getting up to shake his hand. This was better than anything the ministry had to offer.

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**A/n: Review please!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

**A/n: **phobiaofseaweed: Thanks for the review and I'm glad you like the Lola's character. Love the penname, by the way. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy this set of chapters.

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**Chapter 19: Moving**

It wasn't as emotional for me to pack up my things as it was for the others; the thing that I worried about was the fact as of where I would live. James said that he was selling his family's house to move in with Lily somewhere. I honestly have no idea where I can live; I have no money; I have no family; I have nothing. I stared out at the grounds from the one of the turrets near the hospital wing, with my knees against my chest and my arms wrapped around my legs. I rested my head on my knees and a shadow was cast across me. I looked up into the light, squinting to make out Sirius's silhouette against the sun.

"Oh, hey." I said dryly, returning my gaze to the grounds. He sat down real close next to me; his thigh was rubbing against mine.

"You don't mind?" He asked holding up a pack of cigarettes; he always ask and I never deny him, "You know." He started after he took a long drag, "I thought I was homeless too when James told me that he was selling the house. I yelled at him for a good hour." I snorted, "I got a letter in the post yesterday. I guess my Uncle Alphard passed away and he left me a good amount of money." He took another long drag, "I bought a flat in the city. Three bedrooms, two baths, a large kitchen, a living room, you know the works." He flicked the butt of the cigarette off the turret's edge, "And now thinking back on it, it's too big for just me." I stared at him with my mouth wide open, he was finally getting to the point, "You think you might want to move in with me?"

I squealed with delight and threw my arms around his neck, making him fall backwards with me on top of him. I felt my face heat up as I stared down at him with my dark hair falling over my shoulders, "Thanks so much."

"It's my pleasure." He said, his face reddening slightly and he hugged me tight before I climbed off of him.

---

He wasn't joking when he described the flat; it is really amazing and lavishly decorated. After we finished unpacking into our rooms (which were next to each other), we sat on the couch in an awkward silence. We always got along so well but I think the intimacy of moving in together made the room fill with tension. I'm living with him; I can't believe I'm living with him. I could see his foot bouncing out of the corner of my eye.

"I'm going to go have a smoke." He said jumping to his feet and fishing his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. I watched him walk away, running his hands through his ever-growing hair and shaking his head disapprovingly.

I thought about following him outside to talk while he smoked but I decided against it as watched him stand on the balcony, leaning on the railing and still shaking his head. I headed to my bathroom to take a long bath instead.

I pulled open the bathroom door to find Sirius standing in front of me, his hand raised to knock on the door. I just had my towel wrapped around me; I wrapped the towel tighter around me, which probably wasn't the smartest idea because my breasts started to spill out of the top of the towel. To my amazement, I watched his eyes leave mine and discreetly roam down my body, _all the way_ down my body, then back up to the top of the towel where my breasts were bulging over. My toes began to curl and heat rose up in me from his stare. I tried to clear my throat but it just came out as a chocked cough but it still got his attention and for the second time in two weeks I saw his face redden.

His voice was excessively deep and business like; "We got an owl from Dumbledore with directions to the meeting tomorrow."

"Oh good." I said, rubbing my legs awkwardly against each other. We stood staring at each other; my heart was racing and his breathing seemed a little accelerated.

"I'm going to go change." I said, removing my hand from the towel to point around him, which caused the towel to, slid down slightly and I quickly grabbed it again. We brushed against each other as I tried to pass him on my way to my room.

----

I slid into a pair of jeans and tank top, ran a brush through my hair quickly and met Sirius in the living room to go to the Order meeting.

"We have to apparate there." He said.

"We always do." I said sarcastically. He laughed slightly as I stepped closer to him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him than usual; I had no choice but to wrap my arms around his waist in order to be comfortable.

The house we apparated to was a small cottage in the middle of forest with nothing but trees and nature as far as the eye could see.

"It's the Potter's old cottage." Sirius said reminiscently as he treaded through the grass, "I forgot about this place."

He pushed the door open. The inside was bigger than the outside, which I didn't understand. From the outside the cottage looked like it could comfortable house a family of four but inside there was room enough for a small army, which it literally did have to house. Dumbledore came flowing out of the crowd with his robes fluttering around him.

"I'm glad that you two could make it today." He said, leading us farther into the room, "I do believe that most of the order is here." He said looking around, "I just want everyone to be familiar with each. You all have to work very close to each other." He gave us a bubbly smile before disappearing back into the crowd.

"Do you know any of these people?" I asked him while we prowled the perimeter of the room.

"Yes. Most of them actually." Sirius said, "Aberforth." He called to a man that looked vaguely familiar but I couldn't place him, "Back in England?" Sirius said after giving the man a one arm hugged.

"Shh, actually I'm not here." Aberforth laughed.

"This is Lola Bailey." Sirius said pushing me forward, "Lola this is Aberforth Dumbledore."

"Oh, pleasure." I said shacking his hand.

"A polite one and she seems intelligent." Aberforth said, "You finally found a keeper."

"Oh, no we're not…" We both started at the same time but Aberforth's name was called from the crowd and he rushed off after a quick goodbye. Sirius and I shared an awkward smile before we continued to mingle.

"Fabian. Gideon." Sirius said, giving both of them a strong handshake, "How long as it been?" He asked them.

"Probably since Fabian's graduation three years ago." Gideon said.

"But I don't think we've met." Fabian said, stepping around Gideon and Sirius with his hand extended to me.

"Lola." I said, taking his hand and he kissed the back of my hand.

"Yeah, yeah." Sirius said duly, brushing Fabian's hand away from mine, "This is Gideon and Fabian Prewett" I left the boys when they began talking about Quidditch and of times before I knew Sirius.

"Hi." A young witch with short curled brown hair and honey eyes, "Marlene McKinnon, I don't think we've ever met."

"Lola Bailey." I said.

"A yank." She laughed, "You didn't go to Hogwarts?"

"I was there last year. I just graduated with Sirius." I said motioning to him over my shoulder.  
"I graduated the year before." Marlene said, "Ahh…Sirius Black." She said, her eyes turned dark with lust and I felt the jealousy rise up in my stomach "Has to be the most handsome man in the room. Oh, but I'm sure you've realized." She nudged me with a sly smile.

"We're living together." I said out of spite; I didn't actually mean to but I just wanted to shut her up.

"With Sirius Black?" She asked in disbelief; I nodded smugly, "Oh." She sipped her drink but continued to watch him over the rim of her cup.

"It was a pleasure meeting you." I said. She gave me smile before I walked back to Sirius.

I ran my hand down his arm, with a glance back at Marlene. I really don't know what came over me but I felt like I had been challenge, "You know I realized that I haven't eaten today, do you want to go get some food?"

"Sure. I'll take us back to my place." Sirius said. He wrapped his arm around me like he did earlier and apparated back to his flat.

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**A/n: Off to the next chapter - **


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

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**Chapter 20: Creeping In**

"Everyone seemed nice." Lola said while I reheated Chinese food for us.

"Yeah, they are; I went to school with a lot of them." I told her while I poured out one of the take out boxes onto a plate before taking the food over to her.

"Is eccentricism a gene is Dumbledore's family?" She asked after a first bite of food.

I almost chocked on my food, "It might be."

----

I still don't know when it all changed or how it happened. She's everywhere now and some how creeps into my thoughts at times; like now. I never thought that when I promised Dumbledore that I would help her and watch out for her that we would be living together. I am seventeen years old, so any girl standing in front of me in only a towel with her boobs practically falling out of it would make the blood rush to certain parts of me plus I can't even remember the last girl I was with; which brings up another question, why haven't I been with anyone? What did I do with all my time?

"Spent it with _her_" I admitted to myself while I towel dried my hair

I didn't get a chance to dwell on it any longer, an owl urgently tapped on my window. I let it in. The owl dropped the letter at my feet and flew back out the window. A red Phoenix glowed on the outside of the letter. I quickly opened the letter. Inside the letter was an address and the order to apparate there a.s.a.p with Lola. I pulled on pair of jeans, grabbed my shirt and my wand, pulling on my shoes as I left my room and headed to the Lola's. I knocked but didn't wait for an answer. She was just pulling her pants over hips as I opened the door.

"We have to go." I said slipping on my shirt while she buttoned her pants.

"I know." She said and I noticed the parchment on her bed, "Okay lets go." She said walking over to me.

I apparated us to the address and we arrived in the middle of a muggle park.

"Watch it." Lola cried seconds after we apparated in.

I turned around coming face to face with a red jet of light; she blew it up.

"Sorry, mate." James appeared out of nowhere from under his invisibility cloak, "I didn't know more people are coming."

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Death Eaters were seen hanging around here for the last few days." James explained.

"Are you alone?" Lola asked.

"No, Lily is down the street, Remus is across the ark and peter is that way." He said nodding in the direction behind us, "We're suppose to keep an eye out for anything."

Lola and I nodded our understanding and wondered off in our own direction. I didn't want to split up but I didn't say anything. A cool wind, rustled around me. I glanced over my shoulder but there was nothing behind me. I shoved my hands in my jacket pockets, a firm grip on my wand. I wandered away from the park and down some muggle street, going wherever my feet were taking me. The houses were all dark, the occupants blissfully asleep. Another wind danced around me, it seemed to be getting colder, icy cold. I looked to the sky but there wasn't a cloud to be seen and no chance of rain.

I thought I heard footsteps behind me again but once again there were no one there.

"James?" I asked the darkness, hoping he would jump out from under the invisibility cloak.

The wind answered me. I sat on the curb looking up and down the empty street. The grass around me suddenly froze over and the air turned numbing cold. I could feel the despair taking me over. I was about to jump to my feet and signal for the others but everything went black.

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**  
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	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

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**Chapter 21: Best Friend**

I wandered away from Sirius with a glance over my shoulder at him. I'm a little unsure about splitting up but I have no other choice and I was heading in Peter's direction so I shouldn't be alone for much longer.

I wandered under the streetlights; the street is deserted and all the houses dark. A cold breeze rustled around me; I hugged my jacket closer to me.

There is no sign of Peter anywhere. I thought I would have run into him by now, even if he were hiding in a bush or something. It's kind of boring, wandering by myself and I'm not even sure what I should be looking for. The grass under my feet froze over and a freezing wind engulfed me before anguish started to take over. The pain of loneness struck me, the same pain I felt when I was in middle and high school. I felt it chocking me. I fell to my knees; tears rolling down my cheeks as I remembered my loneness and the extreme want of ending it all, killing myself. I don't understand what is happening, I haven't felt like this since before I came to England; I had suppressed it all but now it is consuming me. I didn't hear him approach or speak but I was blinded by a bright white light and just like that my anguish was gone. My breathing was rapid and my face tear stained. I didn't realize it was Remus that caused the bright light until he squatted down on the ground next to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"Lola, are you alright?" He asked, "Did they do anything to you?"

"Who?' I asked, taking a few deep breaths to re-steady my breathing.

"The dementors."

"The what?" I asked.

"You didn't seem 'em?"

"I shook my head, "I just felt…felt anguish."

"They do that." He said, helping me to my feet, "Make you relive some of your worst memories."

"It just took over."

"You're fine now. Let's find the others."

James and Lily were already at the park when Remus and me went back and Peter was walking towards them from the direction that Sirius left in.

"Are you guys all right?" Remus asked them.

"Where's Sirius?" I injected before anyone could answer, "Did you see him? He went the way you came from." I asked Peter. He innocently shook his head no. I took off running passed him, my eyes peeled for Sirius.

I was lucky to even find him, he could have been anywhere but I was scared shitless when I saw him. He was lying on his back in the grass, his eyes shut and his limbs limp. I fell to my knees next to him while the others hurried to catch up.

"Sirius, Sirius." I said softly, gently smacking his face, "Has he been stunned?"

"No, his body is too limp and his eyes are shut." Remus answered.

Sirius groaned rubbing his head, "My head." He said sitting up.

"Maybe you should stay lying down." I said scooting closer to him, to help steady him.

"I should be fine. I'm starting to only see one of everything." He said, attempting a horribly timed joke.

I massaged my hands through his hair, "You have a small bump."

"What happened, mate?" James asked.

"I was just about to signal you guys." Sirius said, "There were Dementors coming but then everything went black. I guess someone hit me in the back of my head." For some reason my eyes traveled from Sirius while he talked to Peter standing behind Lily and James, there was something other than concern in his eyes.

"Did you see anyone?" Peter asked quickly.

"No, that's what's weird."

"Let's get back to headquarters, we can tell Dumbledore." James said, helping Sirius up.

Sirius explained everything to Dumbledore but like us he didn't know who it could have been.

"I will have someone look into it." He said, "Miss Bailey could I have a word with you?"

"Okay." I shrugged.

"I you all wouldn't mind." Dumbledore said, dismissing the others, "I would like to ask you to join a team that is going on an undercover, spying mission in the Mountains of Northern Britain. We believe that Voldemort is trying to get the Giants on his side. They are mostly muggle borns that won't be recognized, hopefully, by any Death Eaters. I think you will be very useful."

"Are you sure?" I asked, feeling my sense of security slowly slipping away, "I'm new to this whole magic world. I may just stick out more than blend in."

"I believe you will be very useful." He insisted.

"Ummm…okay."

----

I wasn't very social that evening; many Order members were at Headquarters that evening enjoying a large dinner and many drinks but I sat back, not actually looking or watching anyone but stuck in my own thoughts. I stared into my mixed drink, sipping it every once in a while when an extra loud sound would draw me out of my thoughts.

I am going to be on my own for the first time since I was brought her; well, technically I am not going to be alone but I wont have Sirius, James or Remus a stone's throw away from me. I don't know much about Giants, to be completely honest I didn't know they existed until a few hours ago but I do know that this isn't going to be easy.

"Hey." Sirius said, coming to stand next to me and nudging my leg.

"Hi." I said, coming out of daze.  
"You all right? You seem a little distant." He asked; sliding down the wall to squat next to me so we were face to face.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Don't worry yourself about me." I told him with a fake smile on my face.

He looked me in the eyes, "Tell the truth." He said, seeing through my façade.

"I'm just a little nervous but I don't really want to talk about it here." I told him; it's weird for me think that he has become really the only person that I can confide in. I watched him from the shadows, envying everything about him when I first met; thinking that he would never give me the time of day but now, in my head and to no one else, I call him my best friend.

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**A/n: Keep going **


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it**

**A/n: I'm so sorry but it took me forever to finish this chapter; I've had the other three chapters done for what seems like forever but I started change stuff around and I took me forever to finish this chapter.**

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**Chapter 22: A Major Blow**

"Let's go home then." I said, standing up again and leaving my drink on the floor. She stared at me with a combination of confusion and shock. I took her drink from her, placing it on the floor next to mine before pulling her to her feet and apparating her to our place.

"We didn't have to leave." She said, wiggling out of my grasp.

"It's fine." I told her, leading her to the couch, "What has you so worried?"

"It's nothing much really." She started, "Dumbledore asked me to go north with a team. We're suppose to find out who Voldemort has sent to get the Giants on his side. I'm just not very good at this whole magic thing; it's not something you get use to quickly, you know. I'm just afraid to be on my own."

"But you aren't going to be alone."  
"I know but you, James or Remus are always there but this time you wont be." I said, "You make feel safe." I felt my heart start to race and smile spread across my face, "I mean you guys." She said her face reddening a bit.

I know my smile faltered a bit, "He didn't mention who would be going?"

She shook her head, "He said mostly muggle borns."

"Are you leaving soon?" I am already starting to miss her.

"In a few days."

"Well, we still have plenty of time." And I know many ways we could fill that time but we wouldn't leave the flat; only my dreams. I pulled her to her feet with the mischievous smirk on my face from my not so innocent thoughts, "C'mon."

I stood outside the pub admiring the way the light reflected in the shiny black chrome. I ran my hand along the leather seat and over the cold metal of the handlebars.

"She's a beauty." A large man said, coming to stand next to me with a beer in his hand.

"Oh yeah." I told him.

"Rides like a dream, too." He continued.

"I bet." I said continuing with my uninterested answers.

"You look like a man who could appreciate a girl like her." He said, running his hands over the handlebars.

"Yeah." I said, drifting away from the current girl of our conversation to another one, "I would love one." I was talking about both.

"Okay, I'd say 8200 is a far price." He said, "I've had her for about three years."

"What?" I sputtered.

"I'll sell her to you for 8200." He said.

"You must have had too much to drink, mister." I said, "That bike is worth way more than that and you can't want to sell it."

"I wouldn't sell her to just anyone." He said, "This bike has done a lot for me but it's time for me to move on and you look like you'll take care of it."

I knocked back the rest of my beer, "I'll take her."

"You've got yourself a deal." He said holding out his hand, "We'll meet back here tomorrow."

"What's going on?" Lola asked, appearing at my side.

"I just bought a motorcycle." I told her.

"What?" She asked with eyebrows raised, "You've obviously had too much to drink."

"No." I told her, "I've wanted one for a long time."

The man was god to his word; the next morning I met him back at the pub with the muggle money and he gave me the bike. It is even more magnificent in the day; it sparkled in the sun and purred under me.

The excitement was short lived, that night I got another owl but only me; Lola seemed a little bothered by that fact. She had me take her to headquarters before I left for my mission.

There were actually Death Eaters present this time; a lot of them. Fabian and Gideon were among the few order members; they were in the heart of the battle, dueling at least three a piece. I finished casting a fully body spell on a Death Eater when from behind me a disarming spell hit me; I lost my wand.

I turned and lunged at the Death Eater, taking him by surprise. I grabbed the wrist of his wand hand, slamming it into the wall; he dropped his wand. He kneed my in my side; with a grunt my hold on him loosened and he escaped my grip. He tried to get to his wand but I kicked it away. He threw a punch to my body and I landed one on his face. We didn't use our wands but instead it turned into a fistfight. I slammed him against the wall, fazing him long enough for me to get the closest wand and put him in a full body bind.

The battle was dwindling down; people on both sides were down but there were still duels going on. The Prewitt brothers were still dueling more than they can handle; they are amazing those two. I ran into he crowd shooting stunning spells left and right.

Sweat dripped down my face, my shirt stuck to my body and my side ached from my earlier fight. I was exhausted but there were still a handful of Death Eaters battling Order members, with Gideon and Fabian still dueling most of them. Then suddenly, I watched wide-eyed, as a jet of green light flew through the air hitting Fabian in the chest while another Death Eater distracted him. It seemed to happen in slow motion, as Fabian hit the ground; Gideon was falling through the air to the ground. The room seemed to fall silent with the shock of realization that two of the most talented Wizards were just killed. Then, we turned our attention on the Death Eaters that just killed them, sending a hurricane of dangerous spells; the five Death Eaters had no chance at escaping but the other Death Eaters fled in fear.

We didn't know what to do with ourselves as we surveyed the losses on our side; no matter how close or not we are to the ones we lose, we all hurt; they are just another unnecessary and innocent casualty. They were the first people killed that were close to me; I haven't really known any of the other people that have been killed recently but these two were good friends of mine, they took me under their wing when I started Hogwarts. Their deaths scared the shit out of me, how can two people so powerful as them die? If they can't win and stay alive, who can?

Those of us that aren't Aurors left the scene before the Ministry officials arrived. We are the ones who have to tell the others who wont be coming home.

Lola looked frightened of me when I apparated back to headquarters. The pain was evident in my face and I continued to relive Gideon and Fabian's deaths in my head.

"Are you alright?" She started to reach out to me but stopped.

"Gideon and Fabian are dead." My voice was emotionless. I walked passed her and I heard her follow me but I slammed the door in her face.

I couldn't hold back the vomit any longer and felt even weaker after I threw up. I rinsed my face with water and ran my damp hands through my hair, just staring at myself in the mirror.

Lola must have waited until she heard me turn off the water before she opened the door. I was staring at the bruised bump on my side when she walked in. She tried to suppress the gasp when she saw the bruise but I still heard her.

'You should have Remus heal that." She told me.

I shook my head sadly, "No. I don't want to forget."

She gave me a weak smile, "I'm so sorry." She comfortingly put her hand on mine. I laced my fingers with hers, squeezing her hand softly before pulling my shirt on to tell the others of the recent events.

----

The wind whipped through my hair as I drove through the countryside; I'm alone. I still have on the black slacks and dress shirt from Gideon and Fabian's funeral hours earlier. I've completely forgot how long I've been driving, since Lola left after the funeral but I don't know how long that's been. The air helps clear my head but it doesn't help me forget.

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**A/n: I'll be honest with all of you guys; the story is coming to an end. I've just about caught up to ending chapters that I wrote when I first started this story; I've had the end of the next Lola chapter written for a while, I just have to write the beginning of it. **

**Review please!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

**A/n: Sorry guys, I'm sorry it took me so long to write this. I didn't have much free times these last few weeks but I'm finally home with plenty of free time. Enjoy!**

** Chapter 23: Bubble of Tension**

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I found my powers useless against the Giants; they were filled with too much magic that protected them. Once again, I found myself wondering why Dumbledore sent me up here.

For the first month, no Death Eaters ever arrived but one of the other members on my team said they had already been here and had given the Giants some sort of gift; he also said that is frightening because the Giants had rejected Dumbledore's gift. A few days after learning this, the Deaths Eaters showed up, not dressed in their Death Eater robes and masks but in traveling cloaks. We watched them from afar.

They kept their hoods up, concealing their identities. They stood on the hill overlooking the valley that the Giants lived in. The two tall lanky ones squatted as they observed the Giants but the short squat one stood, shifting on the balls of his feet. Something in my gut churned as I watched the short-squat one; I zoned out the other two Death Eaters. The way he awkwardly followed the other two Death Eaters, just seemed so familiar. But I never got a chance to know why because they disappeared.

Once a week we would get an owl from Dumbledore keeping us updated on what we were missing but the week after the first arrival of the Death Eaters, we got two letters; the second was a letter from Remus addressed to me.

He said that he was willing the risk with sending me. He also said that he was worried about Sirius, that ever since James and Lily went into hiding with their kid, Sirius had been acting strange, hard to get a hold of and snappy whenever he asked him about it. Remus said he didn't know what to make of it. He also wanted to tell me that there was a spy among us.

Was he alluding to Sirius being the spy?

I didn't write Remus back.

----

The three Death Eaters came back; one went into the valley while the two stayed behind on the hill, the short plump one was one of the two.

We decided that we would go to the hill and take the two Death Eaters hostage.

The two Death Eaters were being lookouts on the hill, wondering about it. We quietly snuck up on the tall lanky one while his back was to us, putting him in a full body bind and he fell to the ground with a thud. The frumpy other one heard the thud, signaling to the other when he saw us. I was about to freeze him when the ground shook, knocking us all to the ground. A couple of Giants appeared. My team helplessly started sending spells at the Giants while trying to avoid being smashed. I had lost track of the Death Eaters for a second while I avoided being stepped on. I tried to freeze the frumpy one again but he sent a spell that burned my wrist. I gave up trying to freeze him and instead tried to blow him up. I burned a whole into the hood of his traveling cloak. Revealing wispy blonde hair. He met my eyes for a moment and my stomach churned; I knew those eyes but before I could do more he apparated out with the other two and my team fled to our cave.

Those eyes were so familiar but once again I couldn't believe it. Every time I closed my eyes I saw him looking at me with such innocence that I couldn't believe it was he.

----

Our updates from Dumbledore became less frequent because of the increase of violence and week after week we had to sit back and watch the Giants come and go with out being able to stop.

It's in my gut, the feeling of trouble and danger. It's eminent, I know it. Everyone has these feelings but this one is different, it's real; it's the reason I came home.

I think I know the truth that everyone wants to know. But in a world like this whom can I tell especially when I'm torn between two people. I know its not him, he loves them too much to trap them inside their home; the three people he loves more then himself. But this bubble of tension is going to pop very soon, I can feel it.

I'm done wondering. I want the truth and I'm going to get it.

_October 28__th__, 1981 11:00 p.m._


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

**A/n!!!WARNING: ****SEXUAL**** content in this chapter; it's after the weird page break (oOoO) Also there is ****BAD**** language in the beginning!!!!**

**Chapter 24: Living On A Prayer**

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Another one, a goddamn other one; this time a muggle one. I threw the paper into the fire. We have the most powerful wizard directing our every move and we can't stop this. We have the most talented powerful and intelligent witches and wizards fighting, plotting and gather intelligence, we have muggle law enforcement but we can't kill one fucking wizard. I'm sick of this shit; this isn't the world I want for my godson, hell this isn't a world I want for anyone, even Snape. Constantly looking over my shoulder, bottling up every suspicion and feeling because I don't' know who to trust and the only one I can is trapped in his house.

I can't imagine how James is feeling; I know I could never sit on my couch all day knowing that there is a war waging that needs me. I can't imagine the terror he feels. Everything he has ever wanted is in danger and he has no way to protect it. We never saw it coming to this. It was three long months ago, we were sitting in his kitchen watching Harry and Lily unwrap gifts and were saying how close we are; we lived in false hope, everyone did. Now everyone lives on a prayer. I whipped away the warm tear that started down my cheek.

My dark living room light up in green as the red flames turned green and spit someone out of the fire. I pulled out my wand, I would have stunned the person the second she stood up but I couldn't I stared at the still silhouette and felt like it was a friend.

"Are you the spy?" She said breaking the silence. It was then that I knew who she was and felt warmth spread through my body.

"Lola?" I whispered, afraid that I'm wrong.

"Are you the spy?" She asked again ignoring me. With a flick of my wand the room was engulfed with light that took me a minute to get use to.

There she stood, it was like meeting her all over again; except this time she didn't make me nervous. Her hair wasn't perfect, her clothes weren't a perfectly planned outfit but she was still perfect.

"You're back." I said crossing the room to be closer to her. She nodded. In one moment I had her in my arms for the first time. She gripped me tight and I held her close.

"I've been so worried about you." I told her and her eyes clouded with tears but she quickly whipped them away and took a step away from me.

"Are you the spy?" Her voice cracked.

"No." I said; it was all I could say.

"I want the truth." She pulled out a small vial from her pocket and tossed it to me, "The truth." I knew what was in the bottle.

"I'm telling you the truth!"

"You and I both know we can't trust anyone, even the ones we love." Love, I knew that's what we have for each other but I never knew it could be possible. I uncorked the bottle and downed the contents. I stood waiting for her to say something.

"Are you the spy?" She closed her eyes as she said it.

"No. No, I'm not the spy." She let out the breath she had been holding.

"Do you love me?" My eyes darted to hers; she had one more trick up her sleeve.

"Yes, I've loved you from the moment I met you, I just never knew it." Her tears fell freely and I closed the space between us. I took her face in my hands.

"I love you." I told her. She let out something between a sigh of relief and a laugh. My lips met hers without warning for simple kiss.

"I love you." She said against my lips. My stomach did a summersault and I knew I had to show her how much I actually loved her. I kissed her again but this time it wasn't simple.

oOoO

I pulled her close, pressing her body as close to mine as possible. Her fingers played with the hairs at he nape of my neck. I sucked on her bottom lip and eventually ran my tongue along it, I felt the shiver run through her body when I did it but she granted me entrance. After our tongues dance, I pulled away and went to her neck, finding her sensitive pulse point. Lola tilted her head exposing her neck more while her hands pushed me onto her neck harder. I moved away from her neck to look her in the eyes.

"I love you." I told her again.

"Please don't stop." Lola said in a husky voice. This time Lola's lips came crashing onto mine.

My hands slipped under her t-shirt, lightly running my fingertips over her bare stomach and back. She moaned into our kiss and I couldn't help but smile against her lips. My hands continued their journey until I cupped her breasts. Her hands left my hair and pulled her shirt over her head removing my hands from her breasts. I took the opportunity to remove my shirt then backed her against the wall. But Lola wouldn't allow me to hold her hostage. She pushed herself off the wall. She started kissing my bare chest. She slowly made her way down my chest, kissing and nibbling until she came to my pants. She started to undo the buttons on my pants but I grabbed her by her upper arms and pulled her up. I kissed her hard and long; I felt her knees go weak when she fell into me. I took her by her hands and took her into my bedroom.

I kicked the door shut then pinned her against it. This time I didn't let her move; I pinned her hands above her head with one hand and ground my body into hers. She broke our kiss for a loud moan as I ground my lower body against hers. She tried to pull her hands free but I didn't let go, instead I used my free hand to undo her jeans. I pulled them down while she shimmed out of them. I put one leg in between hers and pulled her close to me; I could feel the heat radiating form between her legs. I freed her struggling hands and lead her to the bed. I climbed on the bed and she pinned me under her. She finished taking off my pants. He inner thigh rubbed against my hard and I groaned. I reached up and undid her bra, sliding it slowly off her. I massaged her breasts; she ground onto my stomach while I ran my fingers over her nipples.

She wasn't the shy girl that I had met on her first night here.

I flipped her over, taking control again. I kissed her lightly on the lips then kissed her neck then her breast then stomach then her hips. She was withering with pleasure under me. I trailed kisses on the inside of her thighs before moving to her center. She gasped at my touch and I massaged her thighs reassuringly before spreading her legs apart more. Her muscles tightened, I held her thighs apart so she wouldn't close them as I gave her her first orgasm.

She was panting as I climbed back up her body; she looked up at me and I smiled at her as I stared into her eyes. I kissed her once more before slipping out of my boxers. I positioned myself and slid into her quickly; she bit her lip as I did. I didn't move as I let her adjust to me being inside her. I moved slowly until she began to urge me faster.

Her moans filled my ears and mind while I made love to her. I did everything she wanted me to, harder, faster. Her nails dug into my shoulders. I felt every muscle in body tighten. She was tight around me already and as she reached her climax, I lost all self-control.

I rocked into her until I slowly slide out of her. She crawled under the covers with me. I kept her body pressed against mine.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" I asked her after a few minutes of silence.

"No, I'm fine." She said, "But you did wear me out." I kissed her forehead.

"I love you." I said against her lips.

She kissed me lovingly, "I love you too."

She snuggled against me and fell fast asleep.

_October 29__th__ 12:30 a.m._

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**A/n: I hope you all enjoyed these two chapters; I do believe that there are only two left. Please review!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

**A/n: I have to say, this chapter has to my personal favorite. Enjoy the end of the story : You know I thought about only updating just this chapter and waiting before updating the next, leaving you all with a cliff hanger but I decided I didn't want to torture you guys!**

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**Chapter 25: All We Have Are Accusations**

I woke up snuggled in a warm bed, engulfed in a comforting smell. I felt the tickling sensation of someone's soft fingertips against my naked skin.

Sirius was already awake with a beautiful smile on his face. I looked into his eyes, matching his smile with one of my own. He is the love of my life; I know it and it hurt me to think that I accused him of being the traitor.

"Good Morning." Sirius said, drawing me out of my thoughts. I couldn't resist his pink lips, planting a soft kiss on them, "How are you?"

"Fine."

"You're gorgeous" He said and I blushed, "I love you." He kissed the tip of my nose

"I love you too." I said. I bent over the side of the bed looking for my clothes but most of them were by the door and my shirt is in the other room.

"What are you looking for?" Sirius asked.

"My clothes. I have to pee." He laughed at me for a second before he climbed out of the bed stark naked, I blushed. He took a shirt off his dresser and handed it to me when he climbed back into bed.

"I would like a shower if you don't mined." I said hovering over him after I put on his shirt.

"Everything is already in there." He told me, "And breakfast is in the kitchen."

"How long have you been up?'

"Not too long." He's so cute and so much more loving then I thought.

"I have to shower by myself." I pouted as I disappeared into the bathroom. I heard his feet on the floor before he wrapped his arms around me while I turned on the steamy shower.

---

After a very sensual shower, we snuggled up on the couch, eating the fruit he had out for breakfast. Breakfast was disrupted by the crack of someone apparating in.

"Sirius. Oh sorry." Remus said seeing me in Sirius's shirt and Sirius is only a pair of sweatpants, "Lola, I didn't know you were home."

"I got in last night."

He nodded slowly, "Sirius, Moody came to headquarters looking for you. He said he wants you to help the Aurors today."

"You were at Headquarters? You're there an awful lot." Sirius said giving him a suspicious look as he got up.

"Unlike you I don't secretly work with the Aurors, which you're late for." Remus said angrily. Sirius kept looking at Remus suspiciously.

"Thanks." He turned to me, "I have to go but will you be here when I get home?"

"Hopefully, I have a few things I need to get sorted first." He kissed me and gave Remus another suspicious glance on his way to his bedroom.  
"I'm going back to headquarters." Remus announced.  
"Could you drop me off at the Leaky Cauldron? I hate floo powder." I asked.

"You rented out a room? Why didn't you just come here?"

"I need some alone time to adjust being back." I lied; not wanting to tell him that I didn't think it was safe for me to come back to here. He shrugged and held out his hand for me. He didn't linger at the Leaky Cauldron when he dropped me off.

----

That evening Remus came back to Sirius's and mine flat a little after I had returned, Sirius still hadn't come home from work yet.

"Dumbledore needs you." He said the second he apparated in. No hello, no how are you, strictly business.

"At headquarters again, were you?" I said as I put away the plates from my late night dinner, "You are there an awful lot."

"Like I told Sirius earlier." He said through gritted teeth, "I don't have a mission for the Order that I'm always at like he is and I don't have a job because no one will hire a ferocious monster." I hate accusing him, I hated accusing Sirius but we live in a world of doubt, all we have are accusations.

"He said it's important. The Aurors need you." Remus said, quickly changing the subject. I walked over to him and held onto his arm, I wish I could apparate, life would be easier.

Dumbledore was waiting for us when we apparated to headquarters; I was scared at that point, praying that nothing bad had happened. I've realized I do that more now, praying. I think that's all we have now; hope is dead, now all we have are prayers. Our lives aren't lived on our hopes and dreams but on our prayers.

"Oh good, you came quickly." Dumbledore said rushing over to me, "There is a team of Aurors down in the Department of Mysteries; they think that Death Eaters are down their controlling employees. They need your powers. You'll floo to the ministry and go down as far down as you can." He explained as he walked me to the fireplace.

"What's in the Department?" I asked.

"No one really knows but very powerful magic is down there." He handed me a handful of floo powder and pushed me towards the fireplace.

I hate floo powder, if I had known I would be traveling by floo powder then I wouldn't have worn my light wash jeans. I brushed off my jeans off as I walked to the lifts. There was only one button that went down. I stepped out of the lift, the corridor was barely lit; I guess I could go farther down. It is chilly and I keep getting an eerie feeling with every step I take. Someone grabbed my arm and pulled me off the path. I was ready to freeze him when a wand light lit up his face.

"Sirius." I breathed.

"Shhh..we've been waiting for you." He whispered, "Just around the corner is two Death Eaters standing guard of the Department's entrance. Freeze 'em." I nodded. I glanced around the corner first before sticking my hands around the corner, freezing the two men.

"Okay, lets go." Sirius said. He grabbed my wrist and I awkwardly followed along with the other Aurors. I recognized all of the Aurors, they were _all_ Order members; I wonder if this really is approved by the Ministry or if it is, did Dumbledore make sure it was his members that were sent? We slipped past the frozen men and through the double doors.

"Where now?" Sirius asked; Moody stepped up.

"We'll only know if we go through the doors, this room has some tricks of its own." Moody said, "Two to that door and two to that one." He ordered and without any more command, four Aurors including Sirius stepped up; I wished he wouldn't go, I didn't want him to play hero when we didn't know what was on the other side. A few minutes later all four men come out of their respective doors.

"Nothing." They echoed.

"Mark the doors with an X." Moody said. The men clearly didn't understand why but once they stepped away from the doors the room spun; making me feel nauseas as I watched the blurry Xs whirl by me.

"Okay, again." Moody said. The same four men went through two more doors.

"This way." A voice yelled from the door Sirius went through. Sirius and his partner were waiting for us just behind the door.

"The door was open." Sirius's partner said.

"I thought so." Moody mumbled, "Be careful men and do try to be accurate with your spells." Accurate, does that really matter?

"Let's go." Moody said leading the Aurors in. I started to follow when Sirius held me back.

"I want you to be careful. Just yell and I'll be at your side." He said then kissed my forehead.

We hurried into the room; I know why he told us to be accurate. The room was filled with glass orbs; there were shelves of them. I saw someone scurrying along one of the rows ahead of me. I started after the person, not realizing that I was blindly running through a room I didn't know what was in it. I almost ran passed the person I was following.

"Found you." I said louder then I meant. The man, who looked like he was looking for something on the shelves, threw a spell at me. I yelped, jumping aside and freezing him. Like he promised, Sirius was at my side at my yelp.

"Are you alright?" He asked helping me to my feet.

I pointed to the frozen man.

"Oh…what was he doing?" Sirius asked, staring at him.

"Searching for something, I think." I said getting closer, "Umm…here." I flicked my wrist and unfroze his head.

"What the hell?" The guy said, I think he was struggling but he was frozen, so I can't really tell.

"Hi there." I said, "Were you looking for something?"

"What did you do to me?" He growled.

"I asked first." I teased.

"I'll die before I tell you anything." He snarled.

"I can help with that." I said, I flicked my hand again and unfroze his fingers.

"It's you." He almost laughed, "Master knows about you. You and your friends won't last much longer." I threw a hand up and blew up his unfrozen hand. He screamed in pain, I'm surprised that some of the glass orbs didn't break.

"You crazy bitch." He snarled. Sirius stepped up but I put a hand on his arm for him to stop, "You deserve to die along with your mudbloods and blood traitors. He wont be kind either. You wont be spared." I didn't want to hear any more, I threw my hands up and he blew up, making a mess.

"Why?" Sirius asked.

"I didn't want to hear any more." I told him, checking myself to make sure that I didn't get any of him on me, "Do your magic and clean up will ya?" He did, "I'm going home."

"I'll come."

"No." I said, "I want to be alone and you can't just leave right now," Truth be told, that guy's words scared me.

"Ok, I'll be home as soon as I can." He said but part of me wished he would ignore me and come home with me but I nodded. I was going to turn and just walk away but I pulled him into a kiss, a long passionate kiss.

----

I flooed home from the ministry. The flat was engulfed in darkness when I stepped out of the fireplace. I flicked on a tableside lamp and jumped at the loud pop from behind me. I whirled around; I was no longer alone. The man that appeared in the flat wore a traveling cloak over his tall lanky figure and a hood was pulled over his head. It wasn't until he looked up from the floor to me that I saw his piercing red eyes and menacing smile.

"We finally meet." He drawled taking a step forward, playing with his wand in his hand.

"How did you know where to find me?" I asked, blindly taking a step backwards.

"I have my ways."

"Right, praying on the weak and confused." I spat scrambling across the room.

"Now, that's unfair." His voice was filled with mock disappointment.

"It's true." I said.

"I accepted him unlike his friends. I helped him find the confidence he always wanted." He told me, "I made him the person he wanted to be."

"By making him turn on his friends." I yelled.

"Friends?" He cried out with a laugh, "They were never his friends."

"James, Sirius and Remus did everything for him." I yelled, "They watched out for him."

"Then why weren't they there when he pledged his loyalty to me." He said calmly. I didn't have an answer, "You'd be so surprised at how loyal he can be."

"Peter's a fucking traitor." I said throwing up my hands at him but he only flinched, dropping his shoulder slightly.

"Now why did you have to go and do that, we were having such a nice talk." He said raising his wand at me then I was flying through the air into a wall. I scrambled to my feet, throwing my hands at him; I watched the small sparks on his body every time I threw my hands at him. He took a couple of steps after I kept trying to blow him up. He pointed his wand at me, I attempted to freeze him. He moved in slow motion then suddenly his spell hit me full force. I was blown backwards and was gasping for the air that was knocked out of me.

I got to my feet again and was about to continue my hopeless battle when he spoke again,

"I didn't come here to play games." He growled, "If you haven't realized it yet, you wont kill me; I've made sure of that."

"I'll still try even if it kills me." I told him, blasting him again. He defected it and my own power hit me in my shoulder. The skin burned but didn't gush blood.

"I'm not going to play with you anymore." He said, "I'll let you live, just swear your allegiance to me."

"Go to hell." I yelled, "I'm not a weak piece of shit who's afraid of those who are more powerful."

"I _am _more powerful and _you_ should be afraid." He snarled, "Peter saw that fact and he will live longer then you." Fear was starting to grip me and I had no way out. I swallowed my fear and blasted him again.

"So be it." He said pointing his wand at me, "Don't worry you're friends will be with you soon." I used every ounce of power in me to freeze him but he broke the freeze faster and a green light rushed towards me as I tried to get away.

_October 30, 1981 1:00 a.m._


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

**Chapter 26: The End of the First War**

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Our flat was dark when I got home. My eyes tried to adjust to the darkness as I looked around the room and saw no sign of Lola. I went to step around the coffee table, something crunched under my boot. I lifted up my foot, seeing soot from the fireplace. She did come back but where is she now? I dropped my jacket on the couch as I walked around it; a piece of dry wall laid on the floor next the end of the couch. I picked it up, wondering where it could have come from and a heap of black across the room near our bedroom door caught my eye. 

I dropped the piece of dry wall, curiously walking towards the dark heap. I stopped in my tracks a few steps shy of the heap and my stomach dropped; dark hair was sprawled around one end of the heap. I waved my wand, illuminating the room and I immediately swallowed the bile that filled my throat. I stood frozen, my breathing becoming rapid and unsteady and tears filling my eyes. I closed the space between me and the body that lay on the floor; I numbly kneeled on the floor, reaching out to brush aside the mess of dark hair. My hands trembled as my fingers brushed the hair revealing the once perfect face that haunted me. I retracted my hands as if I touched fire and the tears flowed down my cheeks. Her once beautiful blue eyes, that captivated me, that showed all of her emotions stared at me empty and lifeless.

My body trembled from crying as I scooped Lola's limp body into my arms, cradling her to my chest and crying into her hair. She's been taken from me seemingly after the moments I got her.

My heart and soul went empty in the moments I had alone with her and my tears.

**---**

An armada of Order members invaded my while I clutched Lola in my arms. I didn't acknowledge their presence as they surrounded me. This was my last fleeting moment to have her in my arms, they weren't going to take that away from me. I continued to cry into her hair, ignoring the shuffling and whispers around me. I can't let her go, not yet. I cried harder and the realization was drilled into me further that I had one chance with her and now it was over; all I have left of her is knowing that with the one chance I did have I gave her my heart and my soul, even if it was for a short period of time.

"Sirius." I knew the voice; Remus's voice, it always soothed me but not this time, "Padfoot." He chocked out in a barely audible whisper.

I sniffled, trying to suppress my sobs but it was hopeless and I acknowledged him with a shake of my head. He put his hand on my shoulder.

"We have to go to Dumbledore." He told me.

I shook my head, "I'm not leaving her again."

"I know Padfoot but we have to go to Dumbledore." He said squatting next to me. He untangled her from my arms and gently laid her on the floor. When we got to our feet, I wrapped my arms around him, crying into to his shoulder, "I'll take us." He said quietly.

My world moved in slow motion as we walked through headquarters; my eyes were red and puffy and my face tear stained. The other Order members watched us walk through Headquarters, none of them knowing what happened but I knew what they were thinking and they were wrong; it wasn't them that I was crying over.

We didn't knock before we entered Dumbledore's office. He asked us to take a seat; my knuckles were turning white as I clutched the armrests of my chair. He asked me to explain what I knew and I told him I knew nothing.

"She died alone and that's all I know." I said through gritted teeth; I was slowly slipping away from the overwhelming feeling of grief and replacing it with anger, "You said she was the one." I yelled at him, getting to my feet so fast that my chair fell over, "You said she was suppose to help us; that she was special."

"She was special." He told me.

"I know she was." I said quietly, "But she's dead; she was no help, just another casualty, another one for us to morn."

"But…"

"No." I yelled, "No more. She failed and I failed her. I'm going to kill that son of bitch."

"Sirius, you can't do this alone." Remus said, grabbing my arm.

"We obviously can't to do this together either." I said ripping my arm from his grip and storming from the room.

The sun was fully up as I stood outside Headquarters and summoned my motorbike. I jumped on my bike without an idea where to go. I ended up at Knockturn Alley, half expecting to see him just marching down the street. I slumped to the floor in the gateway between Knockturn and Diagon Alleys; Remus was right, I can't do this alone. I'm hopeless…and loveless. Tears started to crawl down my cheeks again.

I swallowed my depression and pushed myself to my feet, mounted my bike and zoomed off into the late afternoon sky with a destination in mind. I skidded to a halt in front of Remus's house. I dropped my helmet next to the bike and dragged my feet up the path to Remus's front door.

"I've been trying to get a hold of you for hours." He said when he opened the door, "We…uh…you can have Lola's body to have a funeral, if you want of course."

I nodded slowly, "I was the only thing she had; if I don't, who will?"

Somehow Dumbledore managed to arrange a funeral at a muggle cemetery in the countryside. My hand touched the cold Mahogany wood of her coffin, eyes tightly closed and tears sliding down my face.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I should have gone home with you; I'm so sorry you went this alone. I love you; I love you so much that this is killing me. Please forgive me and don't stop loving me."

As many Order members came as possible, laying flowers a top her coffin around me, after my apology and telling me how sorry they were. I couldn't leave when the last one of the Members left the white rose atop her. I rested my head on her coffin, my tears dripping down the glossy wood; I want to hold her in my arms once more; I want to see her blush with any compliment. With my eyes shut I can still see her face, her warm eyes and gorgeous smile and I still smell her shampoo, almost believing that if I open my eyes she will be there. I felt a hand on my shoulder, I knew it was Remus but if I acknowledged him I would have to leave her…forever.

I straightened up, taking a couple steps back to stand next to Remus. The sun was disappearing behind the horizon and Lola was disappearing into the ground. Remus stood to my left wanting to comfort me but I wanted who would have been on my right, if it were any other circumstances; I needed James.

I stayed at Remus's that night, not sleeping at all.

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I got up with the sun; I debated whether or not if I should wait for Remus to get up, he's done so much for me these last twenty-four hours and I haven't acknowledged any of it. I decided against it, my plans would take me half the day to get to as it was and I have to stop at the cemetery before I leave.

I left a bouquet of red and white roses at Lola's grave before heading for my destination.

I landed my bike at the end of a muggle street. The houses were decorated with Halloween decorations and carved Jack-O-Lanterns sat next to the front doors. I really don't know why I came here. I wandered the streets of Godric's Hallow slowly knowing that I was trying to accomplish the impossible. I stopped at a park, sitting on the swing, rocking slowly on my toes.

Life seemed so impossible and hope was escaping me. I hate to admit that I can't picture a future without Voldemort's threat. I thought about my life in these last few years since graduation, we knew what was waiting for us outside of Hogwarts but we never knew how our lives would become so topsy-turvy. I wish with every once of what's left of me that I could go back, back to Hogwarts where my friends were all together and blissfully happy. I stopped swinging, finally wondering where Peter was? He wasn't at Lola's funeral or at Headquarters earlier yesterday before that.

The sun had set; the sky was still glowing blue along the horizon. The muggle children were running from their houses into the street dressed in their Halloween costumes. I weaved my way through them starting my path once again to my destination. A green glow in the sky caught my eye; the sky was just getting dark enough for it, the skull with the snake, to be visible. I began to panic and started sprinting.

I stopped dead in my tracks, standing across the street from the house that shouldn't be visible to me. The glass was blown out of the windows and the front door lay on the front lawn. I didn't travel far into the house before I stopped, my legs going numbing and collapsing on the floor at my best friend's feet. He lay still and lifeless like Lola. My body trembled as I used all the self-control I had left to keep my self from breaking down. I slowly got to my feet, trying not to stare at his lifeless body as I went in search of Lily and Harry.

The door to Harry's room was being held on by one hinge. I had to lift the door off the remaining hinge to get into the room. The scene in the room punched me in the gut. Lily's violent auburn hair was sprawled around her and her fingertips just barely touching her wand. Seeing the bundle of blankets next to her is what brought me to my knees in tears.

They were like my family; she my sister, he my brother and him, my own son. I was at his birth, their wedding; he was there when I ran away; we were together for our first transformations.

A muffled cry brought me out of my self-wallowing. I didn't know where it came from but the blue blanket next to Lily squirmed. I jumped to my feet, wiping away my tears. I pulled back the blanket and Harry stared up at me with his vibrant green eyes. I picked him up with a chocked laugh; I wiped away the small trail of blood on his forehead before holding him tight to my body.

I hurried from the house and came face to face with Hagrid.

"He's all right." I told him but he pointed his pink umbrella that held the pieces of his wand at me; I furrowed my brow.

"Give 'im here Black." He growled.

"No." I said shielding Harry from him, "He's my godson."

"Dumbledore's orders." Hagrid says, "I'm to bring Harry to 'im"

I looked down at Harry; I didn't want to give him to Hagrid and giving him up wasn't easy but I know whatever Dumbledore has planned for him is better than anything I can give him now. I slowly placed Harry in Hagrid's hands.

I summoned my motorbike, "Take it. Get him to safety quickly." Hagrid looked at me hesitantly but got on the bike.

Once Hagrid was out of sight, I apparated out.

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Peter lived in the town surrounding the Leaky Cauldron. I still knew I was looking for a needle in a haystack. I rounded the corner towards the Leaky Cauldron when I spotted him. The two-face traitor was making his way to the Leaky Cauldron, probably to celebrate with everyone else. I whipped out my wand and ran down the street after him, pushing aside the muggles that got in my way. I grabbed his shoulder and ripped him away from the door. His eyes widened in shock when he saw me, he knew why I was here. I held my wand at him, not caring about the muggles that surrounded us.

After I called him out on his betrayal, he started yelling about some hogwash about James being my best friend and betraying him. Some rubbish that I didn't really listen but when I raised my wand to bind and gag him, a loud explosion echoed in the street and I instinctively covered myself. When I turned back to where Peter once stood, there was nothing left but a gaping hole and his severed finger but a pack of sewer rats were just escaping.

I laughed at my own stupidity; the man wasn't as brainless as I thought he was. I was still laughing when the Aurors surrounded me in the street.

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There is no warmth here. I grabbed the cold iron bars, looking around the prison that has become my permanent home. I don't know where I screwed up that my life had ended up here; was it letting Lola go home alone or should I go back to first year when I met _him_?

He played such a small part in my own personal development and held such a small part in my heart but he was such a major part in my breakdown and the breaking of my heart; I will have my revenge and I will avenge everyone he hurt tonight.

_October 31, 1981 10:59 pm_

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**A/n: So please don't hex me, just understand that I didn't want to make the story AU; I wanted to write a cannon story.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed:**

**SiriuslyFanatical, Sweettarts, asianhomie101, RockStar Lover, Serenity87, Nicoley117-LadyBlueMartini, RonWeasleyLove, Jene Bidernais, Jenny Thompson, Nikiki, Fizzing-Whizbee-nz, Butterfly Cobra, MadeAnge and potte.red**

**Review one last time, for me please**


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